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May 1, 2015 · 3:48 pm

The end result of the challenge….

I have hung up my dancing shoes for the year…my feet unanimously thank me…and I am now reflecting on how I feel about the entire experience.

I can sum it up in one word: WORTHWHILE!

I stretched – both physically,emotionally and intellectually; I overcame a slight fear of being seen in public at a weight I do not like; I met new and wonderful people who have since turned into new and exciting friends, and most of all I learned something very valuable: I can do whatever I put my mind to, no matter how scared I am or how far out of my normal comfort zone I have come.

Life lessons are wonderful little things to learn. No matter what age I am lucky enough to live to, I hope I always continue to learn and grow as a person, a woman, a writer. There is nothing more rewarding to me to know I have achieved a goal I have worked arduously towards. Blood, sweat ( a lot of sweat!!) and tears aside, I would do this again in a heartbeat. In fact, I volunteered already for next year. Hopefully, they’ll want me back.

Here’s a snippet of my dancing debut at Keene projectGrad’s Dancing with the Keene Stars: I am # 9 to dance so hang thru the video until the end!)

https://youtu.be/7eT_O3GjuG0

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April 28, 2015 · 11:15 pm

A simple message…

When I started this blog I had a few rules that I swore I wouldn’t break. Among them were not to use this forum as a platform for prostelatyzing my opinions, trying to drum up political support for people I want to lead, or for airing my views on what is happening in the world.

Today I am going to draw a line in the sand and gently break one of those rules.

The past few months have been rife with news reports of killings, beheadings, beatings, and shootings of our people, in this country and abroad. I’m not naive, but seriously, this has to stop. When did it become okay to pull a gun or a knife on someone who looks different from you? When did we start hating  one another so much? And when did it become acceptable to submit to mob mentality  and hurt one another? Where does it end and how?

Psychology tells us that the only way for behavior to change is, simply to change the behavior.

I have always believed that if people do the right thing, and show that they are, the bad behaviors of others will change. Again, naive? Maybe. But what if it’s not?

I challenge everyone and any one who reads this to simply be kind to others today and everyday. If someone cuts you off in traffic, realize they need to be someplace fast and don’t submit to road rage.  If someone is rude to you, simply smile and tell them you hope they have a better day. Don’t curse out the telemarketers- it’s simply their job. Don’t be rude to your waitress if your food is late – there’s probably a good reason and you won’t die of starvation if you have to wait a few minutes more for your meal.

I truly believe that change for the better starts with each one of us knowing that a change is needed and taking small steps towards that end. The old song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me” is an anthem for change.

So, my simple message of the day is… be kind to one another. I have always found when I smile at someone else, they usually can’t help but smile back. It’s like a reflex. If you’re kind to someone, that reflexive kindness will come back at you as well.

Practice kindness. Make it a reflex. Incorporate it into your soul. And as Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

And that’s the last time I’ll go off the writing purpose of this blog. Promise.

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April 24, 2015 · 4:20 pm

Challenges…

I love a writing challenge. That’s why I participate in NANOWRIMO every year, and whenever my local  chapter of RWA holds a writing challenge, I am raring to go.

Personal challenges are another thing entirely.

Backstory. Last Spring I attended a fund raiser for Project Graduation titled DANCING WITH THE KEENE STARS. It was exactly like it sounds – the television show DWTS, just a local edition with people in my community as the “celebrities” or Stars. Everyone with me, including me, had an absolute blast. It was such a fun evening, that I volunteered to be a contestant the following year if they held it again.

Yeah, so. Be careful what you ask for.

I was asked, I said “Yes,” and I was thrilled.

Then the real work started. I am not a dancer. I barely have enough rhythm to keep upright when I walk (as evidenced by  the fact I fall a lot. A lot.) It  looks so easy SO EASY on television. The dancers get up, do a few steps, and there you have it.

Yeah, NO! I haven’t  sweated, thought, or worked so hard at something in a very long time. I actually think the last thing I did that was as mentally and physically challenging was childbirth. And my daughter is 25!

Anyway, the real purpose of this entry was to say that challenges come in all forms, and in order to grow and thrive as humans, we need to take them up from time to time. Learning how to dance the cha-cha has been an enervating and exhausting thing for someone as sedentary (both in mind and body) as myself. I have to think logically, count ( not my strong suit!) and concentrate on so many aspects – head up, don’t look down, keep your shoulders square, smile. It’s a lot for someone like me who basically hibernates in a solitary writing room.

But having said all that, it is a challenge that I willing took on and I don’t have ANY regrets. I have learned a great deal about myself these past two months and wouldn’t change anything I’ve gone through. Well, maybe I’d lose a little more weight before starting, but that’s it! By challenging myself personally, I feel I’ve grown more as a person and a writer, because I have a million story ideas now concerning dancing. Ooo, baby!

If you’re in the neighborhood, here’s the link to get tix. Maybe I’ll see you there.  Just don’t throw any tomatoes at me!!

Project Grad 2015

 

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April 4, 2015 · 12:08 am

The Power of Friends

I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have are keepers for life.

Oh, I have friends on Facebook, and followers on Twitter and Pinterest. People, even follow this blog ( thanks so much for doing so!) But real honest to goodness, give you a kidney if you needed it friends are few and far between.

But that’s okay. Like I said, the one’s I have are keepers.

As an only child, I grew up mostly alone. Parents at work all day and into the evening, I spent a great deal of time at the local library after school. The head librarian knew more about me than my family did. Books became my true friends. Trixie Beldon, Nancy Drew, even Miss Marple where the people I shared my life with. It sounds sad, but it wasn’t. I loved being in the library surrounded by words. It was so much better than being in school surrounded by bullies who taunted and tortured me verbally because I looked different, was different, had a different last name than my mother ( this was the 60′ and 70’s – not too many divorces yet among the populous). Books were my friends, their characters my peers and teachers.

Okay, so maybe it was a little sad, but believe me, I never felt like it was.

When I got older and my outer shell of protection hardened, it was easier. I was still different than most, but I started to discover people who were similar in their  own differences to me. Book readers; smart kids; creative kids. Kids who didn’t care what people thought about them. Kids who would stand up for me, and me for them, against the bullies and clique’y kids. All the knowledge I’d gleaned from those books I’d been surrounded with helped me discover the person I truly was. The kid on the inside who lived on the outside and wanted nothing else but to belong.

In a word, me.

No longer did I wait until people sought me out – I started pursuing them. I started actually making friends, putting myself out there and trusting that I wouldn’t get hurt. And if I did, well, then, I’d chalk it up to life experience.

I’m still that same kid on the inside. Still know I’m different from most, think differently than the norm. But the people who are close to me now, the ones who truly are friends in every sense of the word, are the ones who are most precious to me.  They share my highs and my lows, give me strength and receive it from me when they need it, and they celebrate the person I am, differences and all.

It’s been said that words have power. My power comes from within, but also from my friends. And they make me feel very powerful indeed.

 

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April 2, 2015 · 10:02 am

Freebies!!

Just a reminder: I’ve doing a GOODREADS giveaway this month of paperback copies of SKATER’S WALTZ in celebration of my May 6 release of THERE’S NO PLAC LIKE HOME, Here’s the link and remember: you gotta be in it to win it! Good luck. More on There’s no Place Like home to come!’

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24872836-skater-s-waltz-the-macquire-women-1

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March 29, 2015 · 3:29 pm

Why we should support each other as Writers….

One of my lovely, talented and fun-to-be-around NHRWA member chapter-mates just found out she is a finalist in the RWA GoldenHeart Contest. For those of you who don’t know what this means, listen up. The Golden Hearts awards are given to extremely talented and deserving romance writers who have not had a book-length romance published as of yet. It’s like the Golden Globes awards are to the Oscars. In romance, the Oscars are the annual RITA awards. So when my chapter-mate’s name was announced the other day, everyone who knows her was instantly thrilled for her, including all of us who belong to the New Hampshire chapter. Prestige, honor and open doors in the publishing world all accompany this nomination and, subsequent win. She – and we – will find out the winners at the annual RWA conference in July in NYC. It proves to be a truly memorable event.

Her nomination/finalist state and our happiness for her got me to thinking. Writers of romance are truly the most convivial and supportive group of humans I have ever met. We applaud each other’s successes, understand the emotional toils  the non-successes ( I don’t like the word failure) take on our souls, and we cheer each other on through the often grueling process of creating love on the page.

Romance writers are a rare breed. And I am so thankful they/we are.

Competition many times fosters a sense of isolation and removal from the group of people you are competing against. The goal is to win it all, many times at whatever cost. Friendships are lost and destroyed all just to grab that proverbial golden ring.

Not so with romance writers. Yes, we compete against one another in the basic sense because we all want to get our book published and into the hands of readers. But for every NYT bestseller and USA list out there where a romance writer makes it to the top, the rest of us know we can make it there, too. The trail blazers like Nora Roberts, Beatrice Small, and Kathleen Woodiwiss have made what we write relevant to the masses and  a force to be reckoned with in the sales division. We literally stand on their writing shoulders and are lifted up by their triumphs to gain success for ourselves. The better they do, the better we do.

So. I congratulate my writing friend with all sincerity and love. She is truly deserving of the nomination AND the win. When we are all in NYC in July I will be among the other 2,000 or so attendees who will be standing and applauding her victory, for her victory is also ours and we are better for knowing her.

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March 24, 2015 · 9:03 am

Insomnia…a good thing?

I don’t sleep much. 2 to 3 hours straight for me is considered a full night’s rest. I can fall asleep without any problems. It’s staying asleep that’s difficult.

My mind never NEVER shuts down, even in sleep. No matter what time of the day or night it is, no matter what time zone I’m in, or how physically exhausted I am, my brain, like the energizer bunny, keeps going. Most of the time this sucks wind. Dark purple smudges that need three applications of concealer are present under my eyes at all times. No amount of eye care product gets rid of them. I yawn consistently, so much so people think I’m bored when I’m around them. Not true – just tired. Like an overcharged battery, my brain goes on and on and on….

You get the picture.

There are times, though, when this has proven to be a good thing. Because I’m such a light sleeper, I always heard my child stir when she was baby, or later when she was a teenager and pushing the curfew regulations. (For reasons of disclosure, this never happened! She was always on time.) I know instantly when something is amiss in the house at night, such as when the power goes out during our numerous winter and spring storms. The instant the digital clocks flick off when the power goes, I’m up and at’em.

But the main reason my chronic insomnia is beneficial is because when the world is sleeping soundly and there isn’t a noise or distraction in my realm, I can sneak off to my attic and write for hours before I need to get up and really start the day. During my insomniac haze I am mentally clear and focused when conventional wisdom tells you I should be just the opposite. I can bang out 15-20 pages of my WIP at 3:30 in the morning and when noon strolls around I’m lucky to get 100 words written. I’m working on a novella right now that only gets my attention at 4 a.m. I’m writing it when I can’t stay in bed anymore and revising it during the light of day.

When I first started working as a Registered Nurse I worked what was called the grave yard shift of 11p.m to 7 a.m. for 2 years. On the nights I was off from work my mind never shut down so I’d be up most of the night watching old movies on television – no YouTube, CNN or late late night hosts back then.

Now when my insomnia gets me out of my bed I focus on my writing, which has been utterly prolific the past few months, hand in hand with the increase in my sleeping trends.

Too bad I don’t write vampire books. I know what ol’Dracula is going through with this whole up all night business.

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March 22, 2015 · 2:14 pm

Families… can’t live with them, don’t want to live without them

I’m fascinated by families and birth order. As an only child, I was the solitary kid in rooms always filled with adults. I think one of the reasons I’m such a good and thorough observer is because I was raised in that era where children were seen but never heard. I learned very early in life how to watch people without them noticing, how to gage emotions and reactions during situations, and most importantly, how to describe what I was seeing.From the time I knew I was the only kid in my family’s realm, I dreamed of having siblings. It didn’t matter to me if I was the oldest, youngest, or came somewhere in the middle of the food chain. I wanted other people like me around the house. Sadly, it didn’t happen.
My life long fascination with birth order and how siblings react and interact with one another is the reason I like writing about big families. It gives me a great deal of pleasure to invent the families I always wanted as my own. I would have liked nothing more while growing up than to have older brothers looking out for me and sisters guiding my way to adolescence.Families come with their own sets of rules on behavior and thinking and actions. Most of it is based on the shared history they have, and much of it is situational. When I start a new book series, the dynamics in the family come first. Is there a father figure present and if so, how does he rule? If no dad is around, how does the mother keep order, pay the bills, provide for her children? What roles do the oldest and youngest play in  his scheme? All these questions are thought out prior to my ever typing a word of the story. I need to know “my families” before I can write about them.I invent the parents I wished I’d had growing up, along with the support system siblings bring with it. Since I was a step-kid to two new “parents” when my parents both remarried, I know what it means to be the outsider in a group. Resentments abound, feelings of insecurity and of not measuring up run rampant, and you never really “feel” as if anyone is truly on your side. Of course, these feelings follow us into adulthood so when I write about siblings who are aging, I know I need to have them make decisions and run courses of actions with those childhood traumas and dramas in mind.

What about you? Come from a big family, or are you an only like me? Where is your birth order and did it play a role in making you the person you are? Or did it hamper your dreams and desires because things were “expected of you?”

 

Birth order, sibling dynamics, and families are truly fascinating to read – and write – about.

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March 18, 2015 · 9:03 am

Why every one of us needs an Editor

Yesterday I was a guest blogger on writer Brenna Zinn’s blog. I talked about my love of figure skating and how I used this in my first romance novel Skater’s Waltz.  I mentioned Dorothy Hamill’s name several times and each time I spelled it incorrectly. So dumb! I know how to spell her name as well as my own and mine is much harder! Spell check doesn’t do names and I just glazed over it every time I read it in proofing. My Dartmouth grad English major daughter was the one who clued me into this mistake. Thank God for her.

This got me to thinking about why it is so imperative that we have editors.

Spell check was one of the best inventions ever and one of the worst. It has made us a writing nation of people who don’t bother to learn how to spell correctly and who don’t truly check our work, thinking our laptop programs will do it all and we will look like geniuses.

Na-ah. Doesn’t work that way.

I recently read a novel by a very famous and much published author who I happen to love. She mentioned colored contact lenses in the narrative of her story and even named the manufacturer. The only problem was that manufacturer doesn’t make colored contacts and never has. I know this because this is what I do for a paying job right now: I am a contact lens technician, so when I say I walk the walk and talk the talk of lenses, you can bank on it. Her editors and fact checkers paid her a huge disservice by not validating her statement and I think more people than just me noticed it.

So, back to editing. I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. When I write something I need to read it very very very slowly to make sure I have all the names correct, the i’s doted and the facts perfect. I don’t want to look like an idiot in print ( or in real life).

Lesson learned. Thank you, wise and learned daughter. And my sincere apologies to the fabulous Dorothy Hamill.

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March 10, 2015 · 1:36 pm

Time and media…

It’s been almost a week since my book Skater’s Waltz went live into the reading stratosphere. And what a week it’s been.

I’m new to this whole world of publishing and marketing, and I’ve never been on social media so much. I can truly see how being on Twitter, FB and the rest can be an addictive process. I hear the “tweet” sound on my phone signaling another twitter message I’m mentioned in and I automatically grab my phone. I get “pinged” whenever  a new email arrives and “whistled at” when Facebook updates. All this audio is doing a number on my ears and my ego.

One thing I remember other authors saying at numerous conferences and during chats is that you can get carried away by your media sites if you don’t keep a lid on it, and believe me, this week I’ve found that to be true. As nice as it is to interact with folks on social media, it’s nicer still just to sit and write. That is, after all, what got me started on this path.

So, as I enter the second week of my book’s marketing plan – complete with interviews, a Twitter-purge,  blog posts, and GoodReads questions- I’m turning my phone down when I’m writing. I’ll check it periodically because there are some emails and texts I can’t ignore – like those from family – but for the rest, I’ll let the Twitter-verse and Facebook bloggers have their say and then respond at a later time.

Who new being social was so exhausting??!! But really uplifting as well.

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