I’ve been obnoxious lately with all the posting about THE JANE AUSTEN MURDERS, but I’ve been so stoked that the book is finally available to everyone.
And that day is today!
It was so much fun modernizing Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy. I always envisioned Lizzy as a badass feminist and making her a homicide cop seemed apropos. While she investigates the murder of Charlotte Lucas, the cast of suspects is large, with Darcy at the top of the list. Their attraction to one another aside, she needs to make sure he is either guilty or not before she can pursue a relationship with him.
Originally published on the Kindle Vella platform, when I decided to switch it to print, I changed a few things concerning the plot and made the chapters easier to dive into. The majority of the reviews on Goodreads are from the Kindle Vella publication, and I think their lower scores reflect how much work the book needed. It’s a much better story now if I do say so myself.
And I do, lol
I hope if you read it, you enjoy it, and if you enjoy it, maybe consider writing a review for Amazon or Goodreads. The easiest way to prop an author up is to give their work a good review. Just sayin’.
I received this in an email this morning, totally unprompted and unpromoted by me. It’s scary to think there is a computer data base somewhere just spitting stuff like this out in AI.
Contemporary romance and mystery author Peggy Jaeger has highly anticipated new releases scheduled for 2026, highlighted by a major shift into the murder mystery genre and new thrillers. [1, 2]
Latest & Upcoming Releases
The Jane Austen Murders (Released September 1, 2026): Releasing today in ecopy on Amazon (and available on Kindle Unlimited), this novel marks her first major non-romance, classic-with-a-twist murder mystery. Originally featured on Kindle Vella, it follows Homicide Detectives Elizabeth Bennett and Frank Churchill as they investigate a bludgeoned student at Longbourne College, with English professor Dr. Darcy as the primary suspect. [1, 2, 3]
Vendetta (Upcoming / Pre-Order): This new addition to her FBI Profilers series is currently available for pre-order. Described as a masterclass in how actions have consequences, the plot follows agents Tucker and Kella as they race against the clock to halt a killer’s intricate plan for revenge. [1, 2]
“My love to you all.“: A daughter’s journey through grief (Recent – May 2026): A deeply personal, non-fiction release mapping her journey through grief. [1, 2]
Recent 2025 Series Additions
If you are catching up on her connected romance universes, she recently finalized key entries in her popular contemporary romance series: [1]
You’re My Match (Heaven’s Matchmaker, Book 4) – Released November 2025.
Perfect Match (Heaven’s Matchmaker, Book 3) – Released March 2025.
A Pride of Brothers: Dylan – Released February 2025. [1, 2]
Are you looking to pre-order Vendetta, or would you like to explore the reading order for one of her romance series like Heaven’s Matchmaker or The MacQuire Women?Try without personalization
This was such a fun book to write for so many reasons, lol.
So…you may be asking, “why write a book using the entire cast of Jane Austen characters in this day and age?”
The idea came to me one day when I was re-reading Pride and Prejudice for what had to have been the fifteenth time. To say I love the story is too tame a descriptor.
I wondered, as an author will, what the characters would look like in modern times. Would the passion between Lizzy and Darcy hold up across the centuries? What scenario would force them together, because I didn’t think a woman on the hunt for a man to marry and take care of her would fly in these times.
Plus, Lizzy always reminded me of a woman born before her time – a badass; a feminist; a gal out to make her own way in the world, unapologetically.
Giving her the occupation of homicide detective seemed appropriate. Once I had that, the story unfolded itself.
This version was originally published under the Kindle Vella platform and it got such great traction there I decided to publish it as a standalone novel once the criteria and rules of Vella were completed.
Back in my 20s and 30s before I ever thought to write romance books, I was fascinated with crime, true crime, and serial murderers. I grew up in the era of Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and Son of Sam. All my books up on Kindle Vella show that fascination, this one included.
I hope you liked reading about Lizzy and Darcy in this format. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make them a crime-fighting duo in a series. Heehee
For a little character insight, here is how I envisioned Lizzy and Darcy in my mind as I’ve written them.
If you read the book, I’d like to know how you see them in your own imagination.
I’ve been sitting on this post for the week since Ms. Parton passed, because, truthfully, her death hit me hard.
No, I didn’t know her personally.
No, we’d never met.
No, I’d never seen her perform in person.
And still, her death at 80 hit me like a ton of bricks.
I know it’s a little weird to mourn when a celebrity dies as if we didn’t know them personally. But I, like billions of others around the world, feel as if I did, and her passing has extinguished one of the brightest lights that has ever shone in time.
Aside from being a huge talent with over 3000 songs ot her credit, Ms. Parton was a philanthropist. A real one, not the kind we often see from rich and powerful people who make a big show of donating to a cause and then you never hear from them again about it.
Dolly came from commercially impoverished beginnings and never forgot it. Because of that, she did everything she could to ensure the lives of others were the best she could make them.
Here are just a few of the ways Dolly gave back:
1. The Dollywood Foundation, launched in her home county of Sevier County, Tennessee, with the goal of decreasing high school dropout rates. She then started the Buddy Program, in which she awarded $500 to every seventh- and eighth-grader who finished high school. The dropout rate declined from 35 percent to just 6 percent.
2. Eagle Mountain Sanctuary. The 30,000-square-foot aviary managed by the American Eagle Foundation shelters the largest collection of “non-releasable” bald eagles.
3. The Imagination Library. Because her father was illiterate, something he was always ashamed of, The Dollywood Foundation’s Imagination Library began sending one book per month to each enrolled child in the program from birth until their first year of school. To date, over 300 million books have been distributed. This is the one that always chokes me up when I read about it.
4. Following the release of her I Believe in You children’s album, Parton donated $1 million to the Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in honor of her niece, who was treated for leukemia at that hospital.
5. Parton donated $1 million to coronavirus research at Vanderbilt University, which helped fund Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine.
6. The Dollywood Co. announced in February 2022 that it will cover 100% of tuition, fees and books for any employee who is furthering their education.
7. Parton gave another million dollars to Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville in June 2022, this time aimed at helping pediatric infectious disease research.
This woman never touted her philanthropy. She never called a press conference to say how wonderful she was at what she was doing for others. She did it quietly and successfully. When other celebrities would have jumped through hoops to be honored, she refused the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Biden and the current resident in the White House.
A defined Christian woman, she believed in LGBTQ+ rights, Gay marriage, and understood the struggles of trans people. One of her most famous quotes is that she wasn’t put on earth to judge others, but that was God’s job. She was put here to love everyone.
Losing someone so beloved, so treasured, so damn GOOD has left a huge void that will never be filled in our hearts or on the world’s stage.
I’m choosing to honor her by honoring how she walked through the world, a humble, genuine woman who never forgot where she came from or whose “child” she was.
“Well, well. Look what the wind blew back into town.”
Police Psychic Silvestra Coeltrain comes to Renewal, OK to visit with old friends and to heal. After a year in which she was tested physically, mentally, and psychically, all she wants to do is sleep, fish, and bask in the tranquility of the sleepy town.
Sheriff Caleb Blackbear doesn’t understand the feelings he’s quickly developing for Renewal’s newest visitor. She responds to his kisses with a passion that equals his own. But she’s an enigma, filled with secrets and evasions, and he’s a suspicious man.
When several of the local ranches begin losing cattle to a mysterious illness, it’s Silvestra who claims the animals are being methodically targeted and killed. As Cal’s investigation zeros in on who and what could be slaying the animals, the murder of a prominent rancher’s daughter – and Cal’s former lover – complicates things. With Silvestra’s life now in danger, Cal is determined to keep her safe at any cost.
I am taking advantage of Goodreads current price cut for giveaways, and starting today, you can enter to win an e-copy of Vendetta, the second book in my FBI profilers series.
I’m giving away 100 e-copies, and the contest runs from today until September 7, so if you haven’t read it yet ( and you should!), here’s your chance to win a copy and read it for free.
Put it on your WANT TO READ list, too, because it helps with exposure of the book to your followers.
A high-speed car accident and the bombing of his wife’s car convince FBI SSA Tucker Petrie that he is the target of a killer. Discovering who the person is before another attempt is made becomes the focus of Tucker’s life. With his former partner and best friend, Kella Calloway, by his side, Tucker and his team form a shadow investigation into a series of FBI agent killings no one in power has connected the dots to yet. With the clock ticking and another agent killed, Tucker, Kella, and the team do everything in their power to put an end to the killer’s plan of revenge.
Goodreads review:
Perfect for fans of SVU, NCIS, BAU, and Mind Hunter!
Plot: 5 Overall: 5 Mystery: 5
“This isn’t maybe the gritty, “film noire” gumshoe detective story so many mystery novels but instead Vendetta is a master class in how actions have consequences, all victims of crimes cannot be overlooked, and a delicious deep dive into the criminal mind.
Like in the first book of the series (which doesn’t have to be read to follow this one, but definitely adds to the story!), initially we don’t know who the perpetrator is, just catch glimpses into their mind.
Even though I had my suspicions of who our final suspect would fall to a little earlier than I would have preferred, I had so much fun mentally catelogging details while reading to see if my hunch paid off!
And, reader be warned: those details matter!! Pay attention as you read because you don’t want to miss anything! Mrs. Jaeger has put together one fantastically organized front for you to solve!
Oh! And those consequences? Sometimes they fall like a house of cards… and sometimes like dominoes. Enjoy!”
Today’s #Firstlinefriday is from my Deerbourne Inn book, HOPE’S DREAM frorm The Wild Rose Press.
“Quaint. A description Tyler Coleman had never used before.”
Hope Kildaire gave up her dream of becoming a nurse practitioner when a car accident killed her father and left her mother an invalid. Working two jobs and caring for her mother leaves the twenty-seven-year-old with no time for fun or relationships. When a law firm representing her paternal grandparents sends her several letters, Hope ignores them. She despises the family who disowned her father and wants nothing to do with them.
Lawyer Tyler Coleman’s job is simply to obtain Hope’s signature on a legal document. Getting it is harder than planned, though, when an unexpected attraction blossoms between them. If Ty is honest with Hope about why he’s in Willow Springs, he’ll fulfill his assignment but may risk hurting her.
The opportunity to have everything she’s ever desired is at Hope’s fingertips. Will her dream come true at the expense of Tyler’s love?
If you read my post from August 13th, you know I attended the Bigelow Free Library Romance Day Book and reader event yesterday.
To say it was a resounding success would not do it justice. It was phenomenal.
10 authors, moi included, spent from 10am until 12:30 pm speaking, chatting, and discussing books with a never-ending crowd of readers who were excited to see us, learn about our stories, and buy our books.
I met sosososo many amazing women who have now become new-to-me-readers, that I was over the moon. Still am.
I love – really love – doing library events.
Libraries are the educational and knowledge backbone of this country. What is being done to them with defunding and book banning right now is a national disgrace, and I wish more people were speaking out against these budget cuts.
If you know anything about me, you know I was practically raised in my public library as a kid. My mother worked full-time and couldn’t afford child care or an after-school babysitter, so every day from second grade on ( I was 7) I was left to walk myself home from school. Instead of going home to an empty apartment and watching television for hours until she came home, I walked to my local library, which was halfway between school and home, every day and sat, did my homework, and read myself through the children’s section of books.
The lovely librarians became my childcare providers. They asked me about my day, helped me with homework when I needed it, and recommended age-appropriate books for me to read. They truly fostered my lifelong love of reading. They became my mentors, my responsible adults, and ultimately, my friends.
My very first piece of identification, other than my birth certificate, was my library card. I still have one, even now in the digital age!
It’s surprising I didn’t grow up to be a librarian. But my path was pointed in a different direction.
To this day my love of libraries is still huge. I support my local one financially, with book donations, through their bi-annual book sales, and as a FRIEND OF THE LIBRARY, an organization that helps them defray and offset the budget costs they’ve faced.
I could probably do a dissertation on why book banning is so inherently wrong, but that’s a post for another day.
For now, I want to publicly thank Marie LeTarte, the director of the Bigelow Library, for hosting my fellow authors and me and for making National Romance Day one for us all to look back on with fond remembrance.
I’ve already got 2027 penciled in for National Romance Day at the Bigelow Free Library!
Pediatrician Sable Miller is sick and tired of being the go-to, dependable bridesmaid in all her family and friends’ weddings. But her demanding job, the ridiculous hours, and endless family commitments keep her from finding the perfect man. A matchmaking service? Sounds like too much work. Swipe right dating? Not her thing. The bar scene? When was the last time she even had an evening free to go to a bar?
And forget about dating the myriad of on-the-make doctors and residents in her hospital. Besides, workplace romances never work out.
Sable’s options to meet the man of her dreams and start a family are dwindling and time is running out, because she promised herself the next wedding she would attend would be her own.
Kristopher Lee, the Physician’s Assistant assigned to Sable has a crush on his new mentor. But she’s got a hands-off rule when it comes to dating someone she works with. Kris is nothing if not persistent, though. After all, he didn’t survive three tours in the Army without focusing on a goal. And making Sable Miller fall in love with him is his best goal yet.
This coming Saturday, August 15, 2026, head on down to Clinton, MA to the Bigelow Free Library from 10 am until 12:30 as several authors, including myself, participate in a Romance Book Event/Festival to celebrate Romance Day.
Here’s a list of just some of the participating authors who will have their latest books for sale:
Chance Miller, divorce lawyer extraordinaire, knows the whole happily ever after dream is an urban myth. He deals with miserable and wedded warring couples every day and swears staying single keeps him sane and happy. His friends and family consider him the last single man standing and fear he’ll never find someone and settle down. But Chance relishes his carefree status and unencumbered lifestyle and has no plans to change anything.
If only his relatives would stop trying to set him up with their version of the perfect woman.
Fredrika Poole already experienced her one great love, and the widow can’t read any future romance in her tea leaves. She’s content to bake, run her business, and care for her daughter.
When Chance meets Freddie and discovers her marriage thoughts run on the same road his do, he realizes she’s the answer to his prayer for keeping the relatives at bay. But the pixie barista has a way of making Chance question everything he’s always thought about love, marriage, and wedded bliss.
Will his last man standing status go unchallenged? Or will Freddie be the one woman he wants…but can never have?
I’m a little late with this post – it should have gone up on Saturday, August 1st, but…life.
On 9.1.26, THE JANE AUSTEN MURDERS releases in ecopy over on Amazon. It will also be in KU at that time.
Homicide Detectives Elizabeth Bennett and Frank Churchill are called to Longbourne College when the body of student Charlotte Lucas is found bludgeoned to death. Charlotte, a scholarship student, had a healthy supply of designer clothes, jewelry, and a safe deposit box loaded with cash. Where did she get them?
During Lizzy’s investigation into Charlotte’s life, she discovers the student had an antagonistic relationship with her English professor, Dr. Darcy. Word on the street is they couldn’t stand one another and the night before she was killed, the duo had a loud, contentious argument in front of the entire class.
When more clues start popping up about Charlotte’s extracurricular activities, Darcy becomes the primary suspect.
But did he do it?
If you’d like to read it in print, I’ll have copies I can send you, signed and personalized. Just use this link to order ( and PS…it’s cheaper than ‘zon. US continental residents only, though, because of ridiculous shipping costs.)
It’s the start of a new month so, in my never-ending attempt to acquire more new-to-me-readers, I figured now would be a good time to list all the social sites I am on in the hopes that at least one of them will spark the attention of a new reader who will want to follow me.
Run-on sentence much? lol!
You can follow me all these places ( or just on 1) but the goal is to have you follow me!!!!!
Website ( where I blog about life and books and stuff)
So, taking a page from my career playbook, I have booked a few new summer/fall book signings that are drivable from my home base, and I don’t need to shell out money for hotels! Always looking to save cash in this economy, kids!
Here’s a current list, and I have a few more in the works for winter, so stay tuned!
I’ll have all my new 2026 titles available and holiday books galore.
It’s no secret my newest book – a non-romance, murder mystery – THE JANE AUSTEN MURDERS, is releasing in ecopy on 9.1.26. The print copy will release on 8.10.26
You can preorder the ecopy at Amazon and it will be in KU for 90 days. As far as the print version goes, you can either order it from Amazon or from my website. The advantage of my website is that the copy will be autogpraphed/personalized, and it costs less. Shipping is included, too.
This book was originally published on the Kindle Vella platform ( remember that one?!) and once the site shut down, Amazon said authors could publish their works any way they wanted. I waited a bit because…life, but now I’m offering it to readers who never took advantage of Vella.
I’ve updated the story a bit, changed a few things – nothing central to the plot – and I think it’s even a better story now. But I’m biased.
Here’s the blurb:
Homicide Detective Elizabeth Bennett and senior partner Frank Churchill are called to Longbourne College when the body of student Charlotte Lucas is found bludgeoned to death. Charlotte, a scholarship student, had a healthy supply of designer clothes, jewelry, and a safe deposit box loaded with cash. Where did she get them?
During Lizzy’s investigation into Charlotte’s life, she discovers the student had an antagonistic relationship with her English professor, Dr. Darcy. Word on the street is they couldn’t stand one another, and the night before she was killed, the duo had a loud, contentious argument in front of the entire class.
When more clues start popping up about Charlotte’s extracurricular activities, Darcy becomes the primary suspect.
But did he do it?
So…why write a book using the entire cast of Jane Austen characters in this day and age?
The idea came to me one day when I was re-reading Pride and Prejudice for what had to have been the fifteenth time. To say I love the story is too tame a descriptor.
I wondered, as an author will, what the characters would look like in modern times. Would the passion between Lizzy and Darcy hold up across the centuries? What scenario would force them together, because I didn’t think a woman on the hunt for a man to marry and take care of her would fly in these times.
Plus, Lizzy always reminded me of a woman born before her time – a badass; a feminist; a gal out to make her own way in the world, unapologetically.
Giving her the occupation of homicide detective seemed appropriate. Once I had that, the story unfolded itself.
This version was originally published under the Kindle Vella platform and it got such great traction there I decided to publish it as a standalone novel once the criteria and rules of Vella were completed.
Back in my 20s and 30s before I ever thought to write romance books, I was fascinated with crime, true crime, and serial murderers. I grew up in the era of Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and Son of Sam. All my books up on Kindle Vella show that fascination, this one included.
I hope you liked reading about Lizzy and Darcy in this format. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make them a crime-fighting duo in a series. Heehee
If you’re anywhere near Manchester, NH tomorrow, or you’ve been looking for a good shopping day trip, come on down and buy some books; meet some local authors.
It’s the holiday season in the tiny town of Dickens and pilot Michael Charles is home for his annual visit. His wanderlust has him itching to get back up in the skies as soon as possible, especially since he’s got a full schedule of rich and famous clients waiting to be transported to warm, exotic locales for the winter.
When his heavily pregnant sisters present him with a plan to give their workaholic mother some time off from managing the family diner, he balks. But one look at how tired the woman who took him into her home and heart is, and Michael agrees to run Dorrit’s Diner for a month so Amy Charles can get some well-deserved rest.
He’ll be back in the skies by the New Year.
The diner staff functions like a well-oiled machine, most of them long-term employees. The exception is new waitress Julia Maryland. The beautiful blonde has a past filled with heartache, a charming six-year-old daughter, and a smile Michael could spend the day getting lost in. But starting a relationship with her wouldn’t be wise because his visit is temporary and Julia seems like a permanent kind of girl.
When a family emergency requires him to rethink and reassess his life, Michael wonders if it’s time he becomes a permanent kind of man.
Driving four hours in the dead of night while the world slept wasn’t something Sasha Charles considered fun.
Book blurb:
After a terrifying incident derails Sasha Charles’ career and confidence, she moves back to her hometown of Dickens to heal, reorganize, and start over.
The only problem? The paralyzing panic attacks that plague her whenever she thinks about going back to nursing. Sasha is mentally, and emotionally stuck, and has no idea how to move forward.
Steve Caldwell is the new Director of Services at Dickens Memorial Hospital. After witnessing her save the life of a local resident in Dorrit’s Diner, he knows Sasha would be perfect for the new trauma center he’s planning. When she refuses his job offer outright, he sets out to change her mind.
But Sasha has thick, protective walls erected around her so Steve must first break through them. With patience and kindness, he does. As the two grow closer, each begin to have second thoughts on what their futures should look like, until idle, small town gossip threatens to derail their budding relationship.
With the imminent arrival of Christmas, will Steve be able to convince Sasha he has her best interests at heart?
and I killed it! Met so many new, amazing readers…sold tons of books.
Two weeks ago I did this…
Not one book sold. Died a horrible, demoralizing bookish death.
The difference in the two events?
First, the venue, and second, the number of participants.
I fully believe now that I have done several signings in brick-and-mortar bookstores where no one has interacted or bought a book from me, that bookstore signings are for “BIG NAME AUTHORS” or indie authors with a huge following.
Neither of which I am.
The events with multiple authors at non-bookstore venues are sosososo much better for me, emotionally, physically, and financially.
So…moral of the story? Until I hit the NYT or USA TODAY bestseller list and have a social media following in the millions, I am no longer seeking out bookstore book signings but am sticking to non-bookstore events and venues.
Oh, btw – I am back for day 2 today at the TANGER OUTLETS, and today I will have all my Christmas and Holiday titles for sale.
Continuing with my Christmas in July series for First Line Friday, today’s first line is from FIXING CHRISTMAS.
Last week I showed you Abracadabra’s Charles’ origin story. Today, is her grown-up one, and it’s as messy as a dirty restaurant kitchen floor after service is done for the day!
“Finally,” Abra Charles mumbled when the house came into view.
Book blurb:
Christmas has never filled writer Abra Charles with undiluted pleasure. If you’d been left on a doorstep on Christmas Eve morning, you might have a few issues with the holiday as well.
Abra’s avoided her hometown of Dickens for the past twenty Christmas seasons, but now she’s returned in an attempt to get her writing mojo back. Twice-divorced and with her third engagement ending in heartbreak, anger, and blackmail, Abra is now six months behind on submitting her current book. She hopes renting Copperfield House and immersing herself in solitude will cure her writer’s block and get her life back on track. The house she rents isn’t helping her achieve her goal, though, as one thing after another breaks, collapses, or floods.
Colton Bree, Dickens’ very own Mr. FixIt, can’t help but wonder if the new resident of Copperfield House is cursed. After being called to repair a broken window, he’s then needed to fix an exploding coffeepot, an overrunning toilet, and a washing machine that has a mind of its own. Bree doesn’t mind all the unexpected repair jobs, though, because the sexy renter is something to look at despite being a little neurotic and a whole lot of snarky.
Can Abra get her book done with all the distractions and craziness of her life, the biggest distraction being the flannelled hunk with the bedroom eyes and scowling yet oh-so-kissable mouth? Or will Dickens’ Mr FixIt have to step in and save the day and in so doing, fix Christmas for Abra forever?
I’ll be there both days, and each day I’ll have different books available for sale. So, I thought I’d let you know which books for which days, because depending on which day you come, you’ll know what I’ve got for sale.
So, on Saturday, July 11, I’ll have these books for sale:
Sunday, I’ll have these:
So…are you coming? I’ll be there with several other authors and bookish vendors. Hope to see you!
Mark your calendars, Kids, because I’m hitting the road next weekend, July 11 and 12. I’ll be at the Tanger Outlets in Tilton NH along with dozens of other authors for a fun, safe from the heat, indoor book event.
And for the first time at an event, I’m going to have two days of different books for sale. Since i have so any titles now, I can’t bring many of them to a one day event – but with two days? Yeah, I’m loading up. Christmas in July books, Wedding season books, steamy contemporaries – I’m gonna have them all. Different books each day, so….
Come on down to the outlets, do a little regular shopping, and then hit this fab event!
I talk a great deal on this blog about writing, my writing process, marketing, etc, all things book-related. I could wax prolific about books and bookish topics for days and probably never draw breath.
I love writing. I love creating. I love using words to draw visuals and talking about writing.
One thing I never talk about here is the emotional and mental toll certain aspects of writing have on my mental health, though, and today I’m going to attempt to explain how much it does.
I posted about my Barnes & Noble book signing last weekend, where no one came. Not even my friends. No one bought a book; I had a hard time getting anyone who did come into the store to talk to me, even though I engaged with everyone, saying hello, and other mundane things to draw attention.
In a word, it was demoralizing.
Look, I know I’m a good writer. I have no imposter syndrome and have never for a moment suffered from it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I started my writing career by winning a writing contest. That kind of solidified in my mind I was a decent storyteller. The 50-odd other wins and finals in contests have proven to me this is what I should be doing with my life, so that’s not what causes my anxiety and depression where writing is concerned.
It’s the lack of sales that gets to me and brings me down. In-person events are typically how an unknown writer such as myself makes connections and gets new-to-them readers to read their work and who then become fans. I’ve done close to 100 in-person events since I started writing full-time twelve years ago. That’s a lot of face-to-face meet-and-greets and book signings. And don’t get me wrong: I’ve made a ton of new readers who have since become friends. And believe it or not, I’ve enjoyed those events. I’ve enjoyed the people-ing with people who love books!
But at some point you have to consider the amount of money you are laying out for these events – table fees, buying your author copies, swag, travel – it all adds up and, again, at some point you would think I’d pull ahead and actually make money instead of always losing it.
I sound like I’m whining, and I hate that. I’m not. Really. Well…maybe a little.
The point is, there comes a time when all the smiling, attempts at interacting, and discussing your book – or trying to – becomes too much, and you have to either step away or suck it up and keep going.
Since I’m a Taurus, I am DNA-driven to choose option #2, even though I’m exhausted and could use a break to simply write without having to sell.
My father-in-law was a salesman, and he taught that the first rule of salesmanship starts when the customer says no. I wish I could be the type of author who was pushy ( in a good way) when it comes to people not buying books and walking past my table, even though I am always trying to get them to engage with me. I wonder if some readers think I am pushy.
And that thought just shot my anxiety up another notch.
Anyway… I have a two-day signing/sales event this upcoming weekend where I’ll be with dozens of other authors. Events like this are way easier for me to participate in because it’s not JUST ME trying to sell, but a gaggle of authors.
Is a group of authors called a gaggle? Or is it a guild? No clue, but you get the thrust.
So, I’m going to shove my anxiety and depression back down into my soul and do my best to be upbeat and positive this weekend.
Sometime, kids, in the future, I’ll step away for a bit. Now, though, is not that time.
On Saturday and Sunday, July 18 and 19, I will be at the Tanger Outlets with dozens of other authors for a pop-up book sale!. I will have different titles on both days – FINALLY _ a place where I can bring as many different titles as I can!
Check the hours – Saturday 10-5 ( long day of shopping! YAY)
Sunday 12-4. Beat the heat. The sale is INSIDE one of the stores at TILTON – between RUE21 and Region Hair!!
Stop by and check out all the authors and their books and do a little book shopping to beat the heat, soothe your soul, and take you away from all the problems in the world for a few hours!
I’m starting off my Dickens Holiday Romance First Line Friday today. Each Friday from today until July 31, I’ll be posting the first line for a Dorrit’s diner edition of my additions to the Dickens Holiday romance series.
Amy Dorrit considered it one of life’s simple gifts that she didn’t have to commute to work each morning.
Book Blurb:
It’s Christmas Eve morning in the tiny New England town of Dickens. Santa’s arrival is imminent, and a hint of snow is in the air. Amy Dorrit is just about to open her popular diner for the breakfast rush when she discovers an abandoned baby on her back doorstep. Amy knows she should call the authorities and turn the infant over to them, but she just can’t. Thoughts of her own abandonment as a baby flood through her and she wants to keep the little one out of the hands of the authorities until the mother – hopefully –returns. But will the mom come back? And if she doesn’t, what is Amy prepared to do about the baby who has, already, claimed her heart?
Every July, SMASHWORDS runs an amazing sale on hundreds of thousands of book titles, including my own.
All my books listed with them are either 1/2 price or FREE until July 31. Check out my listing and the prices here: PEGGYJAEGER/SMASHWORDS and then add some to your Summer TBR.
So….way back when Amazon had Kindle Vella, I published — in serial form — a lot of my mystery/suspense works that had never seen the light of a reader’s day. One of them was The Jane Austen Murders, which I have updated and am releasing for the very first time in print on September 1, 2026.
Blurb:
Homicide Detectives Elizabeth Bennett and Frank Churchill are called to Longbourne College when the body of student Charlotte Lucas is found bludgeoned to death. Charlotte, a scholarship student, had a healthy supply of designer clothes, jewelry, and a safe deposit box loaded with cash. Where did she get them?
During Lizzy’s investigation into Charlotte’s life, she discovers the student had an antagonistic relationship with her English professor, Dr. Darcy. Word on the street is they couldn’t stand one another and the night before she was killed, the duo had a loud, contentious argument in front of the entire class.
When more clues start popping up about Charlotte’s extracurricular activities, Darcy becomes the primary suspect.
But did he do it?
So…why write a book using the entire cast of Jane Austen characters in this day and age?
The idea came to me one day when I was re-reading Pride and Prejudice for what had to have been the fifteenth time. To say I love the story is too tame a descriptor.
I wondered, as an author will, what the characters would look like in modern times. Would the passion between Lizzy and Darcy hold up across the centuries? What scenario would force them together, because I didn’t think a woman on the hunt for a man to marry and take care of her would fly in these times.
Plus, Lizzy always reminded me of a woman born before her time – a badass; a feminist; a gal out to make her own way in the world, unapologetically.
Giving her the occupation of homicide detective seemed appropriate. Once I had that, the story unfolded itself.
This version was originally published under the Kindle Vella platform and it got such great traction there I decided to publish it as a standalone novel once the criteria and rules of Vella were completed.
Back in my 20s and 30s, before I ever thought to write romance books, I was fascinated by crime, true crime, and serial killers. I grew up in the era of Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and Son of Sam. All my books up on Kindle Vella show that fascination, this one included.
I hope you liked reading about Lizzy and Darcy in this format. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make them a crime-fighting duo in a series. Heehee
Last weekend I did an author event/booksignig at a brewery. Yes…where they make and sell beer. 8 other authors/vendors and I were at Litherman’s Limited Brewery on a Saturday afternoon, and I sold a ton of books.
Truly. In a brewery. The people were welcoming, the readers amazing.
Today, I did a solo book signing at my local Barnes & Noble, a bookstore I love, love, love.
Didn’t sell one book.
Not a single one.
I couldn’t get anyone to engage with me. I tried saying hello…people walked by with a fast semi-smile or ignored me altogether. It’s rare that I feel unseen, but I could have been invisible. I was supposed to stay until 4pm, but since no one — no one– who came into the store, despite my engaging – even spoke to me, I left early. It was demoralizing enough for 2 hours. 4? Yeah, I don’t have an ego, but that would have been too much for even me.
Comparing the two events. One was with other authors, in a non-bookstore type location on a Saturday afternoon. The other was a solo event in an actual bookstore on a Sunday afternoon.
Which, in theory, should I have sold more books at? Conventional wisdom says the bookstore.
I have never been what anyone would call conventional.
So… what have I learned from this? Well, this is at least the sixth bookstore signing ( not all in B&N. The others were indie bookstores) where my sales were zilch. Zero. Zip. I think I can safely say bookstore signings are not for me, based on this empirical data. I don’t have a big enough name, and I am mostly indie-published now, so I don’t have a publisher’s backing to garner me bookshelf space and fight for me..
I do better at much smaller events with more than just me as the author.
Thankfully, I have several of those coming up this summer. Just take a look at the graphic below to find me in July and August.
Here’s hoping I make a few new readers and sell some books at those.
Honestly… this business isn’t for the faint of heart, kids.
And they’re meant to stay for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
I’ve met so many amazing people in my short 11 years as a published author. other authors who inspire me, readers who amaze me, publishers who gave me a chance when I didn’t think they would.
One of the people I’ve met is a woman who inspires me with her grit, determination, business savvy and just plain smarts, and that’s Carlie Emma Ballou.
My relationship with Carlie started as a reader (her) to an author (me). We met at a book event, she liked my stories, and we forged a bookish friendship from there that has grown into a real and lasting friendship.
You’re probably wondering why I’m singing Carlie’s praises in a blog post. Well, it goes back to the fact that she’s an amazing businesswoman. Carlie, because she loves reading and authors so much, has started a PA ( Personal Assistant) business for writers.
Her company is called. Book Lady Co. and she offers a variety of PA services and a wide range of pricing for everyone from pre-published authors to more seasoned authors, like me.
If you’re an author and hate traversing the social media world, or just don’t know where to put your advertising dollars, or even if you just need some help with a book launch or an event, go ahead and give Carlie a call.
Award season isn’t only for actors. There are a plethora of writing contests that I enter every year and some of the winners have already been announced.
Successful Chef Anton Saparosa had the perfect life. Great marriage; beautiful and adoring wife; trendy, SoCal restaurant frequented by celebrities – many of them his friends.
Then Covid hit.
Anton’s perfect life dissolved before his eyes. With nothing left to keep him in California, he starts an itinerant cross-country journey searching for something to give his life meaning again.
Happenstance lands him in the tiny town of Dickens just as Dorrit’s Diner is thrown into chaos.
Literary Agent Portia Avon needs a rest. A messy divorce has her craving quiet and the company of her friend and client A.B. Cards, nee Abra Bree. She comes from the western heat of California to the eastern cold of Dickens and plans to do nothing but rest, relax, and read during her holiday stay.
When Portia spots a familiar face in Dorrit’s, she’s confused. Why is Anton Saparosa, one of the most recognizable chefs in California, working as a fry cook in Abra’s mom’s diner, and going by the name Tony Smith?
A question Portia wants an answer to, but one Tony isn’t willing to share, especially with a woman he can’t stop thinking about.
I have two more current contests where I am a finalist. Once those results are announced, it’s back to the writing board for me for next year’s releases and contests.
As I said yesterday, if you know me, you know I love scrolling on TikTok. And what I’ve been loving watching recently are all the posts from people who have never been to this country before and are now here to watch the World Cup matches. I am tickled pink at seeing this country through the eyes of their experiences, what they’ve been told about America, and then experiencing our country through a new lens and mindset.
Yesterday was a bit of a snarky, backhanded Proud to be an American post because I lamented about the bigger, better, even bigger mentality of overconsumption America possesses. The visitors I’ve been watching have been in awe of the size of restaurant meals and the portions. They are thrilled about the free refill policy of so many eateries for drinks because they don’t have that where they live. They have gone into Walmarts and Costcos and been gobsmacked at not only the variety of items you can purchase, but the variation. One Brit was dumbfounded that Walmart had thirty-seven ( he counted) varieties of different cereals. Then he counted the brand variations, like Special K with strawberries as opposed to just Special K, and came up with over 75 varieties.
Yeah. Dumbstruck at something that I don’t even notice.
But what really got me thinking were the posts where the tourists were visiting our landmarks.
Sedona at sunset, the majestic oranges, reds, and yellows beautifully shining against the lowering sun backdrop.
Their first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty and all her majesty in New York Harbor.
The Golden Gate Bridge.
Mount Rushmore.
The US Capitol.
Boston Harbor exhibits.
The St Louis Gateway Arch.
The Grand Canyon.
They are all in awe at things I take for granted.
So today, I’m stopping that.
America the Beautiful is not only a song (which I feel should be our national anthem!) but also a truth. Our country is gorgeous from the natural beauty of our national parks, the functioning waterways and bodies of water, to the man-made structures erected to exemplify the glory of this land.
I am proud to be an American.
There is one South African guy who is in Alabama, and he came upon a city park that had an open-air gym in the center of it, where you could work out. He marvled that there was no graffiti; that the equipment was all working and not vandalized; that it was free and open to anyone who wanted to use it, including a humble visitor from South Africa. He said in his country, something like this wouldn’t survive a day. It would be vandalized and corrupted upon completion.
How sad.
But just another reminder about why I love this country.
And yes, I can love my country and despise the morons running it right now.
If you are on TikTok, do yourself a favor and find some of these posts. You won’t be sorry. You may even laugh or shed a grateful tear or two for living in such a magnificent country.
I love scrolling through videos of dogs and cats acting weird; love the beauty makeovers; love the gym workout transformations.
My newest obsession and love-to-scroll posts are centered on visitors to America for the first time who are watching World Cup matches. People who have never before experienced the American culture in our own backyard and their reactions to things are hysterical, make me feel proud of my country, and also are a mite…upsetting.
Let me explain.
A few videos have shown Europeans getting their first view of places like Cosco and Walmart. A few chaps from Germany were stricken dumb when they saw that Walmart sold food like 10-pound ground beef loaves and frozen pizzas. An English family experienced Chick-fil-A for the first time, and they couldn’t even talk – all they wanted to do was eat. When they were done, the dad asked the mom and kids have you ever tasted anything so good, to which the boy, probably around 8-ish, replied that he wanted to move to America.
Pizza slices and their size have taken up a lot of Australian and South African posts. People can’t believe all the different toppings or the actual size of a pizza.
One group of Italians was awestruck when they got free refills of soda at a local Olive Garden. The guy filming stated he already had three refills of his 20-ounce soda.
Starbucks iced coffees are a favorite of Irish lasses; as mentioned, the pizza is a hit with The Aussies.
I laughed out loud at the awestruck words and faces while visiting a local Dallas High School football stadium. The chap couldn’t believe a school stadium was so large when he comes from only professional sports arenas that are as large.
All this is fun to watch, but then I started to think…we are, as Americans, a nation of overconsumers, both in food and “things.”
Our food portions are ridiculous. I know the ADA says to base calories on a normal daily intake of 2000 calories, but that’s 2k over three meals and two snacks, not one double cheeseburger plate with fries at 1950 cals for one meal.
Those Big Gulps look like fun at 7/11, but if you are getting a regular soda filled one, that’s 32 ounces of sugar and caffeine all at once – in just one serving. The calories are upwards of 400.
One Englishman touring Costco came up on a stack of large bath towels, 12 for S$8.99. His response? Why do you need 12? It’s just me and my wife and we use a towel for 2 showers each. Why do you need so many? Another girl from Ireland couldn’t believe that you could buy your groceries, everything you need for your house, even tires for your car, and get an eye exam all at Walmart.
Americans do love their convenience shopping, don’t we?
A man from Switzerland was in Walmart and made a post detailing all the American flags hanging from the ceiling. He said, I wish we did that in Switzerland, showed our pride in our country by hanging flags everywhere. He was in Dallas. I’m going to admit I’ve never noticed my own Walmart ( because I won’t shop there) ever having hanging flags from the ceiling.
All of these videos are hysterical – every single one. But as I said, when you get down to the nitty gritty of what they are really showing us and their viewers, Americans are a country of overconsumers, big eaters, and proud of it.
So yeah, that’s why this post is posed as a question.
If you are making your weekend plans and you are anywhere near Litherman’s Limited Brewery this Saturday, please stop down and say hi, grab a brew, buy a book!
I’ll be with 7 other Bookish authors and vendors!!!
I was honored to attend the debut event this year, 2026, and am beyond thrilled to announce I am an attending author again for 2027!
In 2027 the event will be held at the historic Mount Washington Omni hotel on April 24-25. If you’ve never visited this amazing hotel ( my daughter was married there!), you are in for a treat. Beyond beautiful and majestic, it’s…haunted. No lie!! Attend this event,and you just may “see” the resident ghost(s).
There’s a Queen of Hearts dinner and ball at the end of Saturday’s festivities. This is a must- attend if you want to give your dancing shoes and your costume skills a workout
The 2026 event was one of the best I’ve ever attended, and I can only imagine it being even better in 2027, so don’t miss out! Get your tickets, grab a bunch of book-loving friends, and make your reservations today!
Oh, and bring some cash because you’re going to want to purchase a bunch of books from the amazeballs authors who are attending!
So I’ve bitched and moaned a lot over the years about how going to book events is exhausting, costly, and draining physically, mentally, and financially.
Sorry about all the whining, kids. Truly.
But…
I’ve promised myself I will keep doing them, only on a different scale both financially and physically. To that point, on June 20th, 2026 from 11 am until 5 pm ( and yes, that’s a long day!) I will be at LITHERMAN’S LIMITED BREWERY in Concord, NH, at TALES AND ALES BREWERY BOOK NOOK TAKEOVER sponsored by Your Book Besties Book Nook.
I am reminded of the scene in Sweet Home Alabama where Reese Witherspoon sees her childhood friend, who has a new baby, and says, “Look at you. You have a baby…in a bar!)) LOL!
I actually think having a book event in a brewery is a unique way of getting my books – and those of the other authors participating – in front of new readers.
So, if you are in the Concord, NH area on June 20, stop at Litherman’s. Have a bite to eat…a beer…and buy some books.
That’s going to be my motto for the day… a bite, a beer, and a book!
I’m excited to let you know that on Sunday, June 28th, Barnes & Noble is hosting a book signing for my current book, “My Love to you all.” A daughter’s journey through grief.
The event is from 12-4 pm, and I will have copies available for purchase from B&N to sign. Or ifyou already have the book ( BLES YOU!) bring it and I wll sign it for you.
This book was a three-year labor of love, grief, tears, and ultimately, a path to healing for me, navigating through my mother’s death and everything that came thereafter with my stepfather.
“Grief comes in waves, tsunamis, and droplets.”
When her mother died unexpectedly, Peggy Jaeger used her writing blog to help her navigate through her grief. Detailing her mother’s tortured life – and their oftentimes contentious relationship – allowed her to understand the decisions and events that comprised her mother’s 87 years and made her the woman she’d grown to be. With brutal and at times painful honesty, Peggy details her mother’s life; one that knew suffering, heartache, supreme loss, mental illness and paranoia.
This is the story of how two women – mother and daughter – learned the power behind the gift of forgiveness and helped Peggy come out on the other side of her grief a stronger, wiser, and more understanding person.
If you’re around on the 28th, I hope you’ll come see me.
Three NERFA 2026 Finalists in Contemporary Romance 🌹 Congratulations to our extraordinary finalists from @firstcoastromancewriters: ✨ The Magical Tea Shop — Aimee O’Brian *(no TikTok handle found)* ✨ Just the Way You Are — @nikarhoneauthor ✨ Perfect Match — @peggyjaegerauthor Winners announced next month. Find all three books at the links in bio. #NERFA2026#ContemporaryRomance#RomanceBooks#BookTok#RomanceReads#FCRW
With June upon us, I thought I’d take a beat and tell you where I’ll be appearing summer 2026. It’s not as extensive a list as it’s been past summers because…I’m old and tired and money is tight.
All true.
But…
I will be a few places you can come see me and other authors to talk books, buy books, learn about books.
The date for the August Bigelow Library event is 8/15
So, if you’re in the vicinity of any of these places, drop down and say hi.
Recently, I put one of my books up on Kindle for free for a week. I also added it to KU, both as a means to garner new readers who would – hopefully – purchase others of my books if they liked this one.
I posted about the free sale daily on TikTok, Instagram, and my fb buisness page.
And I tracked the downloads for free and the KU page reads.
These are the results: 89 KU page reads
37 free downloads.
This is actually pretty pathetic for a free book.
This tells me a couple of things, potentially.
nobody wanted the short story book even for free
people don’t like short story books
people don’t like the genre ( horror) in short story books
Let’s analyze those points:
Nobody wanted the short story book, even for free. WHY? is it points 2 and 3? Is it that they don’t like my writing? Is it that they didn’t want to be bothered even getting a free book because either the subject or the author ( me) wasn’t palatable?
So many questions with no answers.
It’s becoming even more exhausting trying to garner new readers every day in this economy. Billionaires don’t read. Not the stuff I write, anyway. My books are read by women, mostly, usually above the age of 30 with kids, grandkids, jobs, and responsibilities. In this economy, they are already stretched as far as they can go, so buying books has become a luxury they can ill afford.
I hear this and feel it so profoundly.
My husband asks me routinely why I still do this. Why do I make myself sick with trying to come up with new ways to market my books, find new writers, and discover new ways to get people interested enough to read my work?
The answer is really very simple: it brings me joy.
Despite it being a time suck and at times anxiety producing, not doing it would be worse because then I wouldn’t have any joy.
So… the struggle is real and exhausting, but the joy offsets all the misery for me.
I’d really like to seel some books and get new readers, though.
And, as a gift to you, I’ve made one of my books FREE on Kindle until May 23rd.
A few years I put together a collection of short stories I’d written over 20 years and titled the collection DEATH BETWEEN THE PAGES. A few of the stories won writing awards from small publishers and all of them were at one time or another, published works, whether in literary magazines or horror fiction publications.
From today, May 19th, until May 23, you can get a KINDLE copy as a free download.
The reason I’m making the book free is,
I’m nice that way ( LOL)
If you’ve never read my suspense books, Retribution and Vendetta, this will be an easy way to introduce you to the crazy way my mind works when it comes to death, dying, revenge plots, and serial killers.
It’s a short story collection so you can devote, literally, an hour to it, and finish it. No 700-page tomes for me.
So…Happy Birthday to me and here’s a gift for you.
Here’s the backstory. I read my reviews. Always have, always will. But I started to notice something on Amazon and Goodreads about two years ago. Every time I have a new book release, there’s always one 1-star rating. No review – just the 1-star.
Every single book. Every single time.
So I can only guess, surmise, muse, (KNOW!) this is either:
1. a fellow author who didn’t like a book review I did on one of their books and this is retaliation ( I really don’t want it to be this one)
2. someone who really just hates me as a writer ( okay, I get it. My books aren’t for everybody, but if you read one and give it a 1-star, why would you read another by the same author? I don’t. If I DNF a book, I never read that author again.
3. someone who really just hates me as a person living on this planet. ( this is probably the right answer.)
I can’t fathom why else someone would consistently – EVERY SINGLE TIME – give me a one star. NO review, so I really don’t even know why the reader hated it so much. This leads me to surmise they simply hate me.
Any suggestions on how I can find out who this person is or why they would hate me so much?
I’ve been a full-time published writer for 11 years. 75 books, a few anthologies, a few novellas.
I’ve had 4 publishers that I actively sought out because I had no literary agent.
Let me repeat that: I’ve had 4 publishers, over 75 published works, and no agent.
It’s not like I haven’t tried to get an agent. I have tried. Or, rather, I had tried.
After too many form rejections, one person should shudder through, I was able to pitch to an agent at the RWA 2017 conference. You had to send 3 chapters of your WIP prior to the meeting so she would know the work you were pitching.
My appointed time came, and we met, shook hands, and then I introduced myself and reminded her which was my work because she was seeing people every 15 minutes for 2 hours. The very first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh, yes. I didn’t like your voice.”
I’m sorry…what?
She didn’t like my writing voice, so the appropriate assumption was that she didn’t like the work I’d sent either; that assumption was proven correct when her next sentence was, “I didn’t like the pages you sent.”
Okay. So…what now? I’ve got a 15-minute pitch session with this woman who absolutely shut me down before I ever said a word. Do I stay and talk about the weather? Politics? How ’bout those Yankees?
Yeah…not happening. Can you spell awkward?
What would you have done?
I’ll tell you what I did. Blinked a few times and took a few breaths so I wouldn’t go postal on her, then stood back up, plastered a fake as a three-dollar bill on my face, put out my hand and said, “Have a nice day.”
And then I turned and left. She never stopped me. Never said, wait, tell me about something else you’ve got. What else are you working on?
Nothing/Nada/zilch/zip.
Nice, right? ( insert sarcasm)
Ever since then, I haven’t pursued getting a literary agent. Why would I? I mean, a masochist I am not.
But…
About a year ago, I started writing a book that I truly feel is my best writing to date. Layered characters, a great backstory, a present-day situation anyone can relate to. And I thought, do I really want to self-publish this one? Wouldn’t it be nicer if I could get it trad pubbed?
Yeah, I answered. It would.
So…last week I reactivated my Query Tracker account and started searching for agents.
I know…am I crazy? Like I said…masochistic? Or just plain stupid to even try?
The one saving grace for me in using this tool (QT) is that I don’t have to sit through a face-to-face rejection. It will come in the form of an email. So much easier to stomach. At least for me. I don’t have to pretend my heart isn’t breaking or put on a good show face when I’m told, in person, “I didn’t like your story.” A faceless, speechless encounter is about all I can stomach at this point in my life.
You would think after all the writing awards I’ve won ( and you know they’re a lot! -No brag, just truth.) and the number of books I’ve had indie and trad published, someone, SOMEONE, and by someone I mean a literary agent, would want to take a chance on me and my story.
Most of the agents I queried have a response time of 8-12 weeks, so I’ll be debating with myself until the end of summer if this was a good idea or not. Until then, I’m perfecting the story and if I get nothing but rejections, it’s going live immediately!!
So this is the fourth year I don’t have my Mom on Mother’s Day. This day hits harder than all the other “holidays” for me since her death. It’s the one day (and really, it should be every day!) that we, as a society, collectively celebrate the women who bore us, pushed us out, loved us unconditionally, and helped us grow into the beings we are.
One day.
Honestly, it’s not enough, but like I said, this one hits harder. probably because it’s an individual reminder of the loss for me. I’m pasting the blog I wrote for the first Mother’s Day she was gone – barely 2 months from her death, here. It’s included in the book I wrote about my grief journey, “My Love to you all” A daughter’s journey through grief, and I am amazed that the feelings I was going through that first year are exactly what I’m experiencing today. No real change.
Grief is hard. It lives, breathes, and hits you at the worst and most unexpected times.
I miss my Mom. Tortured though our relationship was, I miss her.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY?
I’m not going to lie. This has been the hardest day of my life to date.
In 62 years I’ve lived through a lot.
A lot.
So that’s saying something about the agony of today.
Chronic pain; numerous surgeries; life-changing accidents; rejection; multiple types of skin cancer with subsequent disfiguring surgeries.
It’s a lot.
But it’s all paled in comparison to the unstoppable ache in my soul today.
This is the first Mother’s Day I’ve ever had without my mother.
The sadness surrounding me is like a cloak made of a heavy black depression that weighs more than anyone should bear.
Even during the times our relationship wasn’t perfect, Mother’s Day was always something I never forgot. Cards, small tokens, even just a phone call, were all she ever wanted, just a reminder from me that she was my mother and I loved her.
My mother wasn’t one of those moms who demanded and expected hearts, flowers, and expensive gifts.
She was a simple woman with simple tastes and desires.
One of her favorite gifts, and the one she commented on every year on Mother’s Day, was a ceramic house I made her in third-grade arts and crafts class in school. I’ve looked at this item over the years and have always wondered, why the hell did she love it so much?
I know the answer now. At least, I think I do.
We lived in apartments from the time I was born until I was in the sixth grade. That year, my mother and stepfather bought their first home. It was a tiny one-bedroom bungalow in a beach community on Staten Island. Low rent district, because it was in a flood zone, but a real house nonetheless.
And yes, I said one bedroom. They slept in it, I slept in the living room on an old Castro convertible – remember them?
The entire house couldn’t have been more than 750 square feet. It had a small fenced-in backyard that abutted a wooded area. The houses were separated from each other by three feet ( 1.5 feet on either side), which meant you could hear and see everything going on in the next house. Railroad track houses they were called. One room falling into the next.
I don’t know how much the house cost in 1971 but they had a sizable mortgage for the time. That I do remember because money was really tight during those years. Those were the times when we didn’t eat vegetables because we couldn’t afford them, powdered milk was the only kind they could buy because of the cheap price, and we ate boiled potatoes five times a week and plain macaroni as our main meal on the weekends.
My mother loved that house.
Why? I think because it was the first real one she ever lived in. Her entire life until that moment had been spent in apartments. First as a child, then as an adult.
This was the first home that was truly hers and not owned by someone else.
I’m not gonna lie and say everything was honky dory in that house. It wasn’t.
The water pressure was practically nil, which meant taking a shower and actually getting soap and shampoo off you took five times longer than it should have. And the water was never really…hot.
The stove was an old burner flame one and the pilot light went out routinely 3-4 times a week. I learned how to light an oven at an age no child should. And with matches, not an electric lighter.
The walls were paper-thin, which meant no privacy. In the bathroom…in the bedroom.
You get the idea.
There was one thermostat to control the heat and it was in the living room so that meant in order for heat to register in the bedroom the temp had to be turned up high. I never went to bed without sweating.
And forget air conditioning. They couldn’t afford one. Summers were…difficult.
But my mother loved that house, despite all the issues.
And I think that’s why she loved that ceramic house I made her so much.
At the time I made it, we were still living in apartments where roaches were our roommates, junkies looking for a fix roamed outside the front doors, and crime lived in the lobbies.
That little ceramic house was my mother’s hope for the future; her dream where we would live one day. Safe, sound, and far from crime and urban squalor.
The funny thing is, that very first home in the beach looked an awful lot like the ceramic one.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, aunties, sisters, and step-moms. If you’ve still got your mom with you, call her, give her a hug, tell her you love her.
Title: “My love to you all.” A daughter’s journey through grief
Author: Peggy Jaeger
Genre: Grief and loss; memoir
Book Blurb:
“Grief comes in waves, tsunamis, and droplets.”
When her mother died unexpectedly, Peggy Jaeger used her writing blog to help her navigate through her grief. Detailing her mother’s tortured life – and their oftentimes contentious relationship – allowed her to understand the decisions and events that comprised her mother’s 87 years and made her the woman she’d grown to be. With brutal and at times painful honesty, Peggy details her mother’s life; one that knew suffering, heartache, supreme loss, mental illness and paranoia.
This is the story of how two women – mother and daughter – learned the power behind the gift of forgiveness and helped Peggy come out on the other side of her grief a stronger, wiser, and more understanding person.
Excerpt:
My mother died, unexpectedly, last night. And I didn’t make it in time to say goodbye.
Measure of grief? Inconsolable.
Measure of guilt? Incalculable.
She’d just turned 87 last week and joked many times in the past few years that she never expected to “live this long.”
I always quipped back, “I didn’t either.” The first time I said it, she got mad. 2very time after that, she laughed.
My mother was a severely complicated, emotional, mentally broken woman.
She was also the strongest person I’ve ever known.
She survived the sudden death of her father when she was nine years old, leaving a crater in her heart that never healed. She barreled through the suicide of her oldest sister when life became too much for the woman, and the death of her own mother 9 years ago, a woman who admitted she neither loved nor liked her middle daughter. Rust a few months ago, she suffered the loss of her youngest sister.
She lived through a world war and three other wars that saw her lose childhood friends, the tail end of a worldwide financial depression, numerous stock market crashes and recoveries.
She survived a mentally debilitating first marriage to my father, and the censure of the Catholic Church when they excommunicated her for leaving him. This was prior to Vatican II, before things got a bit laxer. Mother Church refused her petition of an annulment, and her second marriage was then “tainted” by her strict family, who saw it as her basically living in sin with my stepfather, even though they were legally married.
My mother was the most devout woman I’ve ever known. She lived her life with her faith even though the practice of it was denied to her.
She never graduated from high school because she had to drop out to help support her ailing mother and her younger sister. She never earned her GED, either. And despite the lack of education, she had extremely important jobs in her lifetime.
She worked on Wall Street as a stock transfer clerk in a time when there weren’t many women in the job. And she made 51 cents to every dollar the men in the same position made.
During the financial crisis of the 80s, she was let go (women were fired first and subsequently changed career paths. She cleaned houses for very wealthy people for a while to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. She babysat for several couples who absolutely adored the way she cared for their children. Then, in her fifties, she became a licensed home health aide. She went into the homes of the people she’d cleaned for, now relegated to sick beds, and cared for them until they died.
During her 87 years, she suffered a miscarriage, two emotional breakdowns that left her anxious and paranoid, two broken hips and the subsequent surgeries to repair them, and broke with her husband’s family when they accused her of a crime. They, like my grandmother’s family, felt she was living in sin with their brother and wanted her out of the family.
She was a gregarious person right until the end and I can’t remember the number of times I asked her to stop speaking so I could tell her something important.
Today I wish I’d never tried to silence her.
It’s a complicated relationship between a mother and daughter, especially when the daughter has lived through the highs and despairs of the parent. My mother was not what anyone would call a book-smart woman, but she was the wisest person in my life, and no matter how many arguments we had or tears we shed over them, she always, always had my back.
The relationship between a mother and daughter is like no other. From the moment a daughter is born, there exists a dynamic that is experienced with no other child with that mother. While I’m not the first daughter to ever lose her mother, I am the only daughter to ever lose MY mother. This book explores the tortured relationship mothers and daughters have.
Peggy Jaeger writes contemporary romances and rom coms about strong women, the families who support them, and the men who can’t live without them.
Family and food play huge roles in Peggy’s stories because she believes there is nothing that holds a family structure together like sharing a meal…or two…or ten. Dotted with humor and characters that are as real as they are loving, Peggy brings all aspects of life into her stories: life, death, sibling rivalry, illness, and the desire for everyone to find their own happily ever after. Growing up the only child of divorced parents she longed for sisters, brothers and a family that vowed to stick together no matter what came their way. Through her books, she has created the families she wanted as that lonely child.
As a lifelong diarist, she caught the blogging bug early on, and you can visit her at peggyjaeger.com where she blogs daily about life, writing, and stuff that makes her go “What??!”
So if you’ve been anywhere on social media, read a newspaper ( do they still exist?) or watched the news on TV since Saturday, May 2, you’ve seen something about the 152-year running of the KENTUCKY DERBY,
The winner was a long shot named Golden Tempo who, LITERALLY, came out of last place to win the race. If you watched it, were you like me? Screaming at the TV “Go! GO! GO!” and then crying when you found out everything about this horse and his trainer?
It’s 4 days later and I still cry whenever I see footage of the race, the trainer’s reaction, and the interview with the jockey after his winning ride. I’m starting to tear up writing this!
Cherie DeVaux, Golden Tempo’s trainer, is the first female trainer to win a KD. The first. She was brought on to be a trainer by the owner of the horse, who is also a woman, Daisy Phipps. Daisy is related to the first woman who ever owned her own stables and produced a generation of winning horses. This win was very female-centric in a sport…that is not.
The jockey who rode him, Jose Ortiz, is a seasoned veteran of horse races. He knew what was inside GT’s soul; that he had the heart of a champion and the legs to match it, and he let the horse prove himself to the world. That, my friends, is a genius move.
Before the race began, Golden Tempo had odds of something like 56-1 because he’d lost his last 2 races. No one, other than Cherie, Ortiz, and GT’s groom, Jose Hernandez, had any expectations for this horse.
And you know what? I simply love that.
Why?
Because all my life I’ve rooted for underdogs; the one nobody believes in; the one people scoff at and say lacks potential; the one who will never amount to anything; will never win. I am not the person who jumps on the bandwagon and praises, dances, and espouses anything or anyone who is popular, or the flavor of the moment. Routinely, I back dark horses in political races, listen to music by artists BEFORE the world makes them popular, and read books by authors who are not bestsellers and publicly well known outside the reading community.
These are my people. Why, you ask? Because they are the faceless, hardworking, nose-to-the-grindstone individuals who are toiling daily to make their lives and the lives of others better. Only a nameless few support them and root for them, but those nameless ( to the world) few, are the reason they toil so hard; they are their impetus to keep going when they don’t believe in themselves; their motivation to keep on keeping on.
Underdogs are not typically popular. Hence, the name, underdog: “a competitor thought to have little chance of winning a fight or contest; a person who has little status in society.” ~ Webster’s Dictionary
Golden Tempo was not considered a winner on Saturday, May 2, at post time. The odds placed on him prove that. 2 minutes after the startbell dinged, the gate opened, and the horses began pummeling the turf, the world learned he was.
Golden Tempo is, in the very basic sense of the word, an underdog.
I am one, too.
My entire life, people have underestimated me. Because I was fat as a child, relatives and bullies would tell me I didn’t matter and would never get far in life because of my weight. Because of the scars on my face from my accident, my own father told me I would never be rich and famous unless I got them fixed. Because I was always considered the smart, nerdy, fat girl in school, my peers ( and I use the word very loosely) said I’d never find a guy to love me.
Did all that hurt? Damn straight it did.
Did I let it stop me from succeeding in life? Not even a little.
When I decided I wanted a writing career after entering my 50s, people told me it was a pipe dream. I was too old, had nothing to say that anyone wanted to read, and was just setting myself up for failure. When I told my husband the moment I got a publishing contract i was quitting me job, he said, “Okay,” with a face and tone that toldme he thought I’d be working forever.
The moment I got a publishing contract, I reminded him I was quitting, and he said, “Wait…what?”
Being underestimated- and by virtue an underdog – has been my motivation to succeed in life.
And I think I’ve done pretty well so far.
Go watch a replay of the Kentucky Derby 2026 if you need any kind of motivation to keep on keeping on despite what people believe about you. Trust me: you will think about your life very differently.
I feel like 2026 has been a year so far where I’ve posted a great deal about book releases… mine!
Well, here’s another, lol!
“My love to you all,” officially released today over all platforms, Amazon, B&N, Kobo, Apple, etc. I put it in 3 versions: hardback copy, paperback, and ebook so anyone could read it at whatever pricepoint and platform they wanted. The ebook is only 99 cents because I figured most people would read it on their device anyway,
The photo on the cover is my mother’s high school graduation picture – an event she never celebrated because she had to drop out with six months left to go in her senior year. The reasons are detailed in the book, but that decision followed her the rest of her life and, I feel, added greatly to her adult mental health issues.
This book started out by me blogging about my mother’s sudden death and how I was trying to cope with my grief while simultaneously taking care of my stepfather’s issues, selling their home, dealing with insurance and government forms, and establishing myself as my stepfather’s POA and POMD. I was never really allowed anytime to sit with my grief during that first year because there was so much going on. Blogging about my struggle became a way for me to move forward and, with the hope others would read it and offer some advice.
Those blogs turned into a book that details my mother’s life, her decisions, the ones that carried her through her life, and her issues with mental health, self-worth, and paranoia. Discovering who she was, finally gave me the grace to accept what happened and to move through the loss.
My hope with publishing this book is to help anyone else placed in a similar situation by explaining the things I learned during this time; to use it a guideline or yardstick on what should, should not, and will probably happen. I am part of the so-called sandwich generation – a generation that is gaining in numbers. We take care of our aging parents and our children. We are, literally, sandwiched between the two, making decisions we never thought we’d need to; learning things we didn’t know we’d need to know. There is no college course on how to deal with your aging parents, their financial issues, legal issues, mental issues, social ones, too – and there should be. I volunteer as tribute to teach it! I consider myself somewhat of an expert after surviving these past 3 years.
Mother’s Day is next week and it will be the third year I am without my mother.
The loss never goes away, don’t let anyone tell you that. Time just makes it more manageable.
If you read the book and get anything positive out of it, please let me know through either a review or a private messege.
I don’t brag. Ever. It’s not in me. I can’t even take a compliment without negating it, verbally.
But stay with me for a moment because 2 monumental things happened yesterday and I am bursting to share them.
Most of you know I am a big contest enter-er. I love me a good writing contest.
Well, I entered a few over the past 8 months. I was a finalist in two already – didn’t win, but was happy just to make it to the finals.
And now…I’m a finalist in 2 more. And not just ANY two contests. Two ultimate, prestigious, amazeballs contests.
The Holt Medallion is a romance writing contest put on by the Virginia Romance Writers. When I say prestigious, I really mean it. Any romance writer would love to win one of the fabulous medallions. My book, YOU’RE MY MATCH is a finalist in the Long Contemproary category along with 4 other authors who are all amazing!!
If that wasn’t enough to drive my ego up into the stratosphere, I also got word that I am a finalist in the most prestigious romance writing award of all for published romance writers, THE DIAMOND HEART from RWA. My book, A CHEF’S KISS CHRISTMAS is a finalist in the contemporary category.
These are two very different romances, and yet…they each speak to an issue I am very vocal about: mental health. You’re My Match deals with mania and hoarding behaviors of the MMC’s mother, while A Chef’s Kiss Christmas deals with grief, loss, and ( a word I hate) closure. The MMC’s wife dies during Covid and he is stuck and unable to move through his grief. It is only as I am writing this post that I realized how much mental health played in both these stories.
Maybe that’s what resonated with the reader/judges?
I may never know, but just to be a finalist in these two amazing award categories is enough to make me stop and take a few deep breaths.
Somedays it really pays to open your emails, kids.
Peggy Jaeger, Author 