I could never be an actress. Well…I could, since drama attaches itself to me like lice to a feral cat, but I wouldn’t want to be one for a simple reason: I hate being judged.
In the book world, this is called being reviewed.
Skater’s Waltz has been out for a little over a week now ( Yippie!) and I’ve gotten three legitimate reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Granted, they were all 5 stars ( what??!) but I’m Irish and therefore cynical, so I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not wishing for it, I’m waiting for it. There is a difference.
I have hopes the 1’s and 2’s don’t materialize – really strong hopes. But if they do, I already know how I’ll feel. I know how I’ll pretend I’m feeling, too. Not everyone is going to like your work. Hey, big budget mega star movies tank all the time. To the world I’ll say, sorry you didn’t like it; hope you find a new author that you do. Inside? Well, inside I’ll be slowly dying.
Why does the opinion of others matter so much? What is it about us humans that makes us want everyone to like us – and our work? I think part of my angst comes from being the child of divorced parents. No matter how many times you hear the divorce wasn’t you fault and had nothing to do with you, as a child you don’t believe it. I must have done something bad or mommy and daddy would still love one another and want to be together as a family.
I’m a psych major and this question still pains to to this day.
But, here’s the thing: all that to the side, I’ve gotten the book of my heart published, and I’m contracted for 4 more in the series. That alone makes every bad or unkind thing a total stranger says about my work null and void.
So, here’s to my one week book anniversary. And many happy more to come.