So, I want to put a disclaimer in this before we begin: I am a judgmental person. Anyone who knows me, knows this.
BUT...I never express my judginess to people I don’t know, and I never do it in public. Plus, my judgmental expressions are usually only about really stupid people, their actions, and prejudice.
ALSO… I freely admit that I am a reality show junkie when it comes to Bravo and E! Shows.
Today at Planet Fitness ( and they should really start paying me for all the free publicity I give them!) I was on a treadmill watching last night’s episode of KEEPING UP THE KARDASHIANS ( don’t judge me!), on my Ipad, minding my own business, ear plugs in place, and trying to burn off some of the delicious calories I took in over the weekend at the Angela James Conference/Workshop in Nashua. The show is 45 minutes long, which is a great treadmill workout for me because I can walk 3.5 miles in that time. Halfway through the program I happened to notice two women talking who were….older… than me – and by older I really mean they were around my age, maybe a year or two younger/older, give or take – and very much…larger ( and you know what I mean by that!). They had stretched-to-the max-sweatpants on their more than ample backsides and concert t-shirts from a band that disbanded 40 years ago on their jiggly, un-toned, tops. Anyway.
I happened to see one of them point to me and overheard her say “… stupid, mindless shit.”
My ears went up like Scooby Doo’s do when he hears the words Scooby Snack.
Surreptitiously, I lowered the volume on the Ipad and eavesdropped. Keeping my eyes on the screen, here’s what I heard (they didn’t know I was listening!)
#1. “How anybody can watch that crap is beyond me.”
#2. “You know who she is, right?” Lowers her voice when she says this and doesn’t understand the gym is like a wind tunnel. You can hear a whisper from across the room.
***I’ll omit the next part where #2 tells #1 who I am and who I’m married to.
#1.”She writes those trashy, sex books, right? I saw it listed in the paper when she did an appearance at the Toadstool.”
#2. “Yeah. Probably why she watches that crap.” **** I figured this meant what I was watching on my Ipad. **** “Probably gets her ideas from those kinds of shows.”
Now, those of you who know me personally can guess what I wanted to do. Would it surprise you to know I didn’t stop my treadmill, turn, and rip them each a new one?? What I did do surprised even me.
I turned the volume back up and kept walking until I timed out. Then, when I dismounted, I turned to them, looked each of them squarely in the un-made-up lots of crow-feeted eyes, gave them each a shit eating grin, said, “Enjoy your workout.”
I know: So NOT ME! I must be maturing as I age.
You’d figure I’d be fat-shamed at the gym – not reality tv shamed! The lesson I took away from this ( aside from the fact these two were mindless, judgemental, bimbos): take the high road. I know what I write aren’t trashy sex novels. It’s obvious neither one of these women had ever read anything by me – that’s assuming they have the I.Q.s to be able to read – or they’d know that.
The motto and branding of Planet Fitness is, NO JUDGMENT ZONE.
Thing 1 and Thing 2 obviously didn’t realize that when they signed up.
‘Nuff Said for today.
For those of you who know I don’t write trashy sex stuff(!) here’s the latest:
THE VOICES OF ANGELS
Love is the last thing Carly Lennox is looking for when she sets out on her new book tour. The independent, widowed author is content with a life spent writing and in raising her daughter. When newscaster Mike Woodard suggests they work on a television magazine profile based on her book, Carly’s thrilled, but guarded. His obvious desire to turn their relationship into something other than just a working one is more than she bargained for.
Mike Woodard is ambitious, and not only in his chosen profession. He wants Carly, maybe more than he’s ever wanted anything or anyone else. As he tells her, he’s a patient man. But the more they’re together, Mike realizes it isn’t simply desire beating within him. Carly Lennox is the missing piece in his life. Getting her to accept it-and him-may just be the toughest assignment he’s ever taken on.