Last week we were charged with writing about our greatest strength. This week, the opposite, our greatest weakness.
I could post about my almost insane obsession for chocolate.
Or my insatiable need to watch reality television shows like “housewives” and Kardashians, just so I don’t miss a moment of their fabulous lives.
Maybe I could write a blog piece about the diet I’ve been struggling with for 40 years.
But when it comes right down to it, my greatest weakness is none of those things. It’s my judgemental attitude toward people and events.
The Bible says In Matthew 7:1-29: “Judge not, that you be not judged.” Apparently, I never got that message in religion class.
When I hear something I disagree with I immediately judge it wrong, simply because I don’t agree with it.
When I hear someone has done something criminal, or stupid, or negligent, I immediately judge them guilty with no questions asked as to why they did what they did. Or even if they did. In this country you are legally innocent until you are proven legally guilty. Not in my mind. If I hear you are to alleged to have done something, the word alleged is thrown away and you actually did it.
I’m not always right. I know. Shocker, right? And most of the things I have been wrong about were proven wrong to me after a quick judgment call on my behalf. So that old adage “think before you speak” fits in well with this knee-jerk judging reacting I have.
I struggle daily with being judge-y. I truly do. It has gotten better. Now, instead of immediately SAYING and giving voice to a judgment, I tend to keep it inside, quiet, and not share it. Okay, so I still have work to do on not being so judge-y.
But I AM working on it. I promise.
Please don’t judge me!
Since this is part of the #MFRWauthors 52 week blog challenge hop, you can click on the amazing authors and writer below to read all about their greatest weakness as well.
Peggy Jaeger, Author 
I only hit Like because there wasn’t a Love button. I suffer the same challenge (I like to call my weaknesses challenges). Part of it, is that I am wired to be analytical and I am a fixer: an absolutely exhausting combination.
“This is great but how can we (I) make this better?” The “this” includes hairstyles (go see Kelly/Heather/Kara they’re amazing), directional signage (this would be more helpful over there), punctuation, grammar, and adjectives (to Oxford comma or not), and a plethora of other trivial and non-trivial matters.
I am also learning to withhold the expression of my “analysis” awaiting more information. I recently listened to a book by Brene Brown. One of the questions she posed for consideration was “Do you think people are doing the best they can?” In posing this question to myself, I have added, “…given the resources they have/had available at the time?” Resources include money, knowledge, privilege and emotional wherewithal. This has helped me adjust my thinking and judgement. Maybe it’s not what I would do but my world and thinking are different.
Thank you for the reminder to be less analytical/judgey and remember that some things are perfect just as they are.
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Amanda – great minds…..
That question about do you think people are doing the best they can is often met from me with the response “Hell-to-the-NO!” I’m trying to be better about that knee jerk mentality because I realize not everyone does everything or think the same way as me. But it’s…..hard!!!!!
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I have a problem with the judging thing also. I think it goes along with needing to be perfect and knowing I’m not!
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Alina- that’s not a bad thought, actually. Maybe it’s the same for me!
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Knowing you are this way is half the battle. I’ve met plenty of people that are quick to make judgement and refuse to see things any other way even when proven wrong. Those are the hardest people to deal with. I think deep down we all are a little judgmental here and there. Why? Because no one is perfect and one of our faults is passing judgement on those that differ from us. We may try not to, but it happens. Being open-minded despite the judgey-ness is key. Being able to admit you were wrong. Not everyone can do that.
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What a lovely admission. Many folks do it. Few of us admit it. What I find especially tough is judging judgers! That’s when you realize your own self-righteousness and pride are out of control and in the way of the relationships we all are called to form. Only God can judge hearts and souls.
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Thanks, Caroline!
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Peggy, but you’re totally wrong!
(Sorry, this was supposed to be a joke. Still friends?)
To some extent, I have the opposite problem. I’m prone to thinking of extenuating circumstances that I know nothing about.
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Ed -hahaha. I got the joke right away, no worries. My husband is the same way. He always tries to see why someone does or says something that they do before he ever thinks to judge their behavior. I missed getting that gene in the pool.
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Judging right along with you! I think that goes with my suspicious, sure-there-is-a-conspiracy-happening nature, lol. Trying to see both sides definitely helps (not that I can always do so, but I try).
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