If I could turn back time…

Yeah, I know it’s a Cher classic,

but that’s not what I’m talking about today.

The other day one of my favorite writers, Christie Craig, posted this on her fb page:

If I could go back and change something in my past, I’d have told the guy who broke my heart that I knew I could do better. What would you change if you could go back in time?

That’s some thoughtful question, isn’t it?
The possibilities are endless…at least for me they are.

How many times in my life have I said, “if only…”

If only I’d told my mother how my grandmother used to verbally belittle and physically hit me when she babysat me and was drinking.

If only I’d told on my step-cousins when they locked me in a closet for three hours because they didn’t like having me around and then laughed when I cried.

If only I’d told a teacher the truth about why I let that mean girl cheat off me on a test.

If only I’d reported that college professor for putting his hand on my butt, or better yet, kicked him square in the balls.

If only I’d told my father what a shitty human being he was for sosososo many reasons.

If only I’d realized sooner what a loser the first boy I’d ever gotten engaged to was.

If only I’d spoken up when I saw that man hit his little boy in the parking lot.

The one thing I certainly would change if I could go back and have a do-over is that I’d tell my mother how much I loved her when I was a teenager instead of screaming at her about how much I hated her. I really didn’t hate her. I just hated the life we had and she was the easiest one to blame.

That one haunts me more than anything else.

So, What would you change if you could go back in time?

Things to things about, peeps. ~ Peg

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “If I could turn back time…

  1. What a powerful post! It’s a tough question, though. If I avoided the pain of sticking with my daughter’s father, I’d have put her through a hellacious custody battle, and I never would have met my current husband–the good one. Fiction writing has given me the chance to tell off (or obliterate) several evildoers form my past. The story in which a vengeful blog devours my grade-school bully even got published!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Peggy Jaeger

      Rhonda – exactly. SOmetimes, though, fear really does hold us back from doing things differently. I know it has for me over the decades.

      Like

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