Category Archives: Writing

11 months…

Here’s what they don’t tell you happens when you lose your mother.

  1. the grief is, at times, physically debilitating to the point you can’t move, breathing is difficult, and you lose all mental focus.

2. you will reach for the phone too many times to ask your mom something, only to realize at the last moment she is no longer around to answer your question. Same goes for when you have something fun you want to share.

3. internal anger builds like a volcano, bubbling and churning and getting hotter until it needs to release and erupts into the air, covering you and everyone around you with the ash of incapacitating emotions.

4. things you never worried about before now become looming, potentially life-altering events, so much so, the worry begins to blind you to reality.

5. you will lose sleep ruminating on everything you ever said or did to make your mom angry and wish you could take back every single word.

6. you will have entire conversations in your head about past moments – both good and bad – with your mom.

7. Foods, smells, and certain phrases will trigger you into a downward spiral of emotions.

8. the holidays are awful.

9. Mother’s Day is soul-crushing.

10. you think you’ll never feel like a normal person again, or ever be able to get your joy back.

11. the worry and dread that you will lose another loved one, suddenly and without warning, is overwhelming.

I’ve gone through every single one of these phases so far, these past 11 months…some, multiple times during a single day.

Would I have been able to deal with them better had I known they would occur? Most likely, not. Sometimes, forewarned isn’t forearmed because you simply don’t know how you are going to react to a situation until it is upon you.

Grief is a living, breathing, all-consuming entity that takes over every aspect of your life. Tack on guilt to that and you’ve got the equivalent of an emotional tsunami.

There have been so many times in the past 11 months when I’ve gone through a gamut of emotions in a single day. Hell, a single hour. Rage. Horror. Guilt. Crying jags – really ugly ones. The kind no other human should witness you go through.

I’ve been mean to people when they ask how I’m doing and I just want to scream at them, “HOW THE F**K DO YOU THINK I’M DOING??!!”

I’ve pulled out of author and book-signing events at the last minute because I knew it was going to be too much for me and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself with my unscheduled crying.

I’ve pulled away from friends because I didn’t want anyone to ask me how I was doing because…see above.

I’ve had difficulty writing my happy, love-forever stories because I just can’t find the happy in me, or on the page, some days.

I’m astute enough of a health professional to know that the best friend of grief is depression and the two hold hands more often than not when one is dealing with loss. I’m also enough of a stubborn bull Taurus to not seek help but to attempt to resolve that depression on my own.

And right now the logical part of my brain is asking, “How’s that going for ya?”

11 months… unbelievable.

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#goodreads giveaway announcement

Hey kids- popping in here on a Saturday to let you know that I’m running a Goodreads Giveaway from today until March 1st. for copies of my soon-to-be-released suspense/thriller RETRIBUTION.

6 teenage girls have been kidnapped, brutalized, and murdered in the Washington DC area and the FBI’s SPCD Unit – the Sexual Predators of Children Profilers – are nowhere close to finding the monster responsible.   How are the victims chosen? How does the killer find them, contact them, lure them into his sick web? Questions the team has no answers for.

When a high-ranking US Senator’s daughter is the next victim, SPCD team leader, Tucker Petrie, is forced to call upon retired profiler — and his last partner — Kella O’Brien for help. Kella’s been out of the game for 10 years, but her expertise and insights into a serial killer’s mind are unparalleled. If anyone can discover who this madman is, it’s Kella.

But as the team rushes to prevent another young girl’s death, clues the killer leaves behind have Kella wondering if his endgame is all about…her.

You can enter the giveaway portal here, GIVEAWAY, for a chance to win.

I’d really appreciate it if you could add the book to your WANT TO READ list, too. Here’s where you’ll find that button if you’re not familiar with it:

The book releases on 4.23.2024 and the giveaway ends March 1. Good luck and even if you don’t win a copy, I hope you will preorder it. Early reviews and opinions of the story have been amazing and I’ll be sharing them soon.

Be well, and thanks, kids. ~ Peg

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#teaserTuesday #Tuesdaytease

So my tease today is a real tease. I’m involved in a Christmas anthology this year to benefit an animal organization. 15+ authors who’ll be doing little novella/shortstories all revolving around a coffee shop called HOUNDS AND GROUNDS. Think Dunkin Donuts but with dogs allowed.

But I can’t share the book’s main cover with you, or tell you the name of my story or what my bookcover looks like. NOt yet.

See? Real tease today. I can show you the coming soon cover and provide the preorder link, though, lol. So…

LOVE, LATTEs and HOLIDAY TALES preorder.

All the proceeds go toward 4 Paws for Ability, a non-for-profit organization matching service dogs with Veterans.

Wednesday, Coffee, & Books presents: Love, Lattes, & Holiday Tales a collection of brand new unique short stories for this festive season. Snuggle up with some sweet and spicy romance from multi-award-winning authors, including New York Times and USA Today Bestselling.

These amazing multi-genre holiday stories featuring Hounds & Grounds and a loving pet will leave you believing in love and a happily ever after.

Featuring authors:

CJ Warrant & Rochelle Bradley
CJ Barlowe
Rochelle K Bradley
Sharon Hamilton NYT & USAT Bestselling
Phoebe Alexander USAT Bestselling
Monica DeSimone USAT Bestselling
Marie Hall USAT Bestselling
LC Taylor USAT Bestselling
Miranda Lynn USAT Bestselling
Faith Alexander
C.J. Baty
Sutton Bishop
Cynthia Carver
C. J. Corbin
Aliya DalRae
Hope Daniels
Anna Hague
Miski Harris
Sara Hurst
Juliette Hyland
Peggy Jaeger (THAT’S ME!!! LOL)
Margaret Kay
Tessa McFionn
Sharon Michalove
Charli Rahe
AJ Renee
Tori Ross
Aurelia Yates

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#SaturdayShare 2.10.24

Just a quick reminder that I’ll be appearing at the GOFFSTOWN LIBRARY on February 13th to talk about all things romance related.

I’ll be reading from my newest book plus, as an added bonus, talking about my soon-to-be-released suspense RETRIBUTION. If there’s enough time, I’ll be reading a little bit from that one, too!!!

I hope if you’re in the are you can come down, sit and listen for a while, and join me!

Here are the details: https://bit.ly/3vHqQp5

~ Peg

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#throwbackthursday 2.1.2024

Today’s blog re-read comes from one I did for ROMANCING THE GENRES in January, 2021. Here’s the link: ROMANCING THE GENRES

 One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the amazeballs Maya Angelou, and I repeat it to myself often. 

Never has this thought been so profound in my writing life as it is right now.

When I started writing as a child I wrote like a, well, child. My short stories were a series of “and then his happened-s,” run-on sentences, and prose packed with adverbs, flowery descriptions, and analogies that had no real comparative basis behind them. My fiction read more like a diary entry than actual crafted storytelling. But I found great joy in the writing.

My graduate thesis was written from a scientific methodology viewpoint and reads like the driest medical tome ever penned. Facts, figures, graphs, statistics. Boring with a capital BORING. But I loved writing it.

As I began writing non-fiction articles on motherhood and the life of a 30-something for magazines after I had my daughter, I wrote with an easy, I’m-just-talking-to-you-over-coffee style. Nothing craft-heavy at all, no real plot or story structure, just a simple imparting of info laced with humor and self-deprecating insights. Writing these articles was a labor of love that made me feel lighter and more confident with myself as a new mother and a woman trying to navigate through a crazy world.

Even blog writing, which is more of a conversation with me in the driver’s seat brings me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I can pop a blog post out in less than a half-hour most days, never have to edit it for content – only spelling mistakes – and then hit post without worry. Love that!

When I first began writing fiction in my 50’s I knew nothing about plot, structure, conflict, subplot, sub-text, or character motivation. I simply had a story in my head and wanted to get it on paper. I look at my debut romance novel, SKATER’S WALTZ from The Wild Rose Press, now and think, yeah, it was a decent story…but really could have been better. But I wrote that book with such joy in my heart during a time in my life that was very challenging. The sense of accomplishment and utter jubilation that it was actually published was a top ten event in my life.

Now that I write romantic fiction in a few sub-genres – RomCom, Contemporary, Romantic Suspense lite – I have to write in a way that brings the reader into the story, gets them hooked on the characters, and leaves them at the end of the book satisfied and wanting more from me. I have an obligation to the reader to present a satisfying product to them.

No easy feat, this, and one which – daily – gives me agita! I’ve gotten so worried this past year about selling books, marketing, and learning new digital ways to publish just to get my books in front of people that I’ve lost my way a little in the writing from my heart department. The joy just hasn’t been there and I think it’s shown in my writing.

So, after close to 30 books published, I’ve decided to do something that sounds a bit crazy, and, in all honesty, probably is.

I’m starting over. 

See? Crazy.

What it really means is that I’m going back to basics, armed with the wisdom I’ve managed to gather these past 5 years since I was first published. Readers want a story that they can tell the author just loved writing. They want to fall in love with the hero and heroine much the same way the characters fell in love with one another, and the writer did as well as she was bringing them to life.

I want that, too.

Those are the books I want to read, the stories I want to fill my soul. 

They are also the stories I want to write.

So, with age and experience, comes wisdom and I am taking that wisdom into 2021 and writing my heart out. I’ve got a list of books that will be written and released this year, some traditionally published and several new indie releases as well. I’m not worrying about marketing, sales, getting on bestseller lists, or even winning any awards this year.

What I am going to do is simply write my heart out because that’s what makes me happy. And I know when I’m happy, my readers are, too.

See? I know better now…so I’m going to do better.

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10 months…

I’ve finally started going through all the stuff I saved from my mother’s house before I sold it. I packed a box of things I intended to go through at one point to see if they were keepers or tossers. Up until now, I haven’t had the emotional fortitude to sort through it all.

Today, 10 months on, I figured it was time.

I already went through all the photographs last month. The box now is mostly filled with a few books she and my stepfather had accumulated throughout the years and some odds and ends.

What I typically call junk.

There was an ancient health and diseases book they must have picked up at a garage or tag sale. The copyright page is missing but the book looks old enough to have been printed in maybe the 60s or 70s. Several afflictions were outlined in yellow marker. Prostate disease; low magnesium; shaking legs syndrome; digestive issues; lower flank pain. I could tell, just from these, it was my stepfather who used this book as a health bible.

I’ve mentioned this previously, but my mother hadn’t seen a doctor in almost 50 years before she broke her first hip. She wasn’t hypochondriacal like my stepfather was. Is.

Another book was one I’d given them several years ago about cats. It was mainly a picture book. This one I know was my mother’s. The woman adored cats. If they’d been able to care for a pet, I’m sure they would have had a few. As it was, they could barely care for themselves.

I moved on to the pictures after making a book toss and donate pile. The health book went in the toss one. No surprise, there.

My mother’s living room wall had been awash in photographs of me, my daughter, and my grandson. I told you last month about the scotch tape issues. I’m still shuddering at all the tape I had to remove. So many pictures had to be trashed because they were damaged from the tape.

My mother was – if not a full one-blown one, then a mild– hoarder. Mostly, it was tchotchkes that had no intrinsic value, items she found at the Senior Center for twenty-five cents or at a garage sale for a dime.

She always said to me when she got something new, “This is worth so much more than I paid for it. Look it up. You’ll see.”

I had no idea where I was supposed to look up the value of a coffee mug of Garfield the cat with a visible chip in the handle.

Or where I could find the resale value of a postcard of the Statue of Liberty someone had put into a plastic frame from the Dollar Store.

And just why did she think a ceramic dinner plate with the slogan Don’t Worry, Be Happy and a smiley face was worth anything of monetary substance?

It finally dawned on me the value of everything she’d bought had worth to her and that was how she – in her mind – justified it.

She loved cats and when I was growing up we had several, including a red ginger cat named Buff. Hence, the Garfield mug.

Her parents came over at a time when they had to pass through Ellis Island and stop at the Statue of Liberty to legally enter the country. Hence, the framed postcard.

Despite her horrible life, she always had upbeat expectations and loved to smile. Hence…well, you get it.

I wish that at the time I was so concerned about all these THINGS junking up her small trailer and which I told her were doing so, I could have had the insight I do now to her motivations.

She’d lost so much in life – her father at a young age, one sister to suicide, her first marriage, a baby in utero; multiple jobs and financial setbacks; and the legitimate practice of the faith she adored. It was no wonder she attached value to worthless (in my eyes) items.

In hers, they were priceless.

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#fridayfive 1.12.2024

I want to start this year with some good vibes about books – and not just romance books – but all good fiction that I’ve read. S0, today, my top 5 non-fiction books of the last few years.

  1. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. Shots rang out in Savannah’s grandest mansion in the misty,early morning hours of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city of moss-hung oaks and shaded squares. John Berendt’s sharply observed, suspenseful, and witty narrative reads like a thoroughly engrossing novel, and yet it is a work of nonfiction. Berendt skillfully interweaves a hugely entertaining first-person account of life in this isolated remnant of the Old South with the unpredictable twists and turns of a landmark murder case. It is a spellbinding story peopled by a gallery of remarkable characters: the well-bred society ladies of the Married Woman’s Card Club; the turbulent young redneck gigolo; the hapless recluse who owns a bottle of poison so powerful it could kill every man, woman, and child in Savannah; the aging and profane Southern belle who is the “soul of pampered self-absorption”; the uproariously funny black drag queen; the acerbic and arrogant antiques dealer; the sweet-talking, piano-playing con artist; young blacks dancing the minuet at the black debutante ball; and Minerva, the voodoo priestess who works her magic in the graveyard at midnight. These and other Savannahians act as a Greek chorus, with Berendt revealing the alliances, hostilities, and intrigues that thrive in a town where everyone knows everyone else.
  2. UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN. Defying both civil authorities and the Mormon establishment in Salt Lake City, the renegade leaders of these Taliban-like theocracies are zealots who answer only to God; some 40,000 people still practice polygamy in these communities. At the core of Krakauer’s book are brothers Ron and Dan Lafferty, who insist they received a commandment from God to kill a blameless woman and her baby girl. Beginning with a meticulously researched account of this appalling double murder, Krakauer constructs a multi-layered, bone-chilling narrative of messianic delusion, polygamy, savage violence, and unyielding faith. Along the way he uncovers a shadowy offshoot of America’s fastest growing religion, and raises provocative questions about the nature of religious belief.
  3. BE USEFUL. The seven rules to follow to realize your true purpose in life—distilled by Arnold Schwarzenegger from his own journey of ceaseless reinvention and extraordinary achievement, and available for absolutely anyone.

    The world’s greatest bodybuilder. The world’s highest-paid movie star. The leader of the world’s sixth-largest economy. That these are the same person sounds like the setup to a joke, but this is no joke. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger. And this did not happen by accident.
     
    Arnold’s stratospheric success happened as part of a process. As the result of clear vision, big thinking, hard work, direct communication, resilient problem-solving, open-minded curiosity, and a commitment to giving back. All of it guided by the one lesson Arnold’s father hammered into him above all: be useful. As Arnold conquered every realm he entered, he kept his father’s adage close to his heart.
     
    Written with his uniquely earnest, blunt, powerful voice, Be Useful takes readers on an inspirational tour through Arnold’s tool kit for a meaningful life. He shows us how to put those tools to work, in service of whatever fulfilling future we can dream up for ourselves. He brings his insights to vivid life with compelling personal stories, life-changing successes and life-threatening failures alike—some of them famous; some told here for the first time ever.
     
    Too many of us struggle to disconnect from our self-pity and connect to our purpose. At an early age, Arnold forged the mental tools to build the ladder out of the poverty and narrow-mindedness of his rural Austrian hometown, tools he used to add rung after rung from there. Now he shares that wisdom with all of us. As he puts it, no one is going to come rescue you—you only have yourself. The good news, it turns out, is that you are all you need.
  4. THE VANDERBILTS When eleven-year-old Cornelius Vanderbilt began to work on his father’s small boat ferrying supplies in New York Harbor at the beginning of the nineteenth century, no one could have imagined that one day he would, through ruthlessness, cunning, and a pathological desire for money, build two empires—one in shipping and another in railroads—that would make him the richest man in America. His staggering fortune was fought over by his heirs after his death in 1877, sowing familial discord that would never fully heal. Though his son Billy doubled the money left by “the Commodore,” subsequent generations competed to find new and ever more extraordinary ways of spending it. By 2018, when the last Vanderbilt was forced out of The Breakers—the seventy-room summer estate in Newport, Rhode Island, that Cornelius’s grandson and namesake had built—the family would have been unrecognizable to the tycoon who started it all.  Now, the Commodore’s great-great-great-grandson Anderson Cooper, joins with historian Katherine Howe to explore the story of his legendary family and their outsized influence. Cooper and Howe breathe life into the ancestors who built the family’s empire, basked in the Commodore’s wealth, hosted lavish galas, and became synonymous with unfettered American capitalism and high society. Moving from the hardscrabble wharves of old Manhattan to the lavish drawing rooms of Gilded Age Fifth Avenue, from the ornate summer palaces of Newport to the courts of Europe, and all the way to modern-day New York, Cooper and Howe wryly recount the triumphs and tragedies of an American dynasty unlike any other. Written with a unique insider’s viewpoint, this is a rollicking, quintessentially American history as remarkable as the family it so vividly captures.
  5. I’M GLAD MY MOM DIED. A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

    Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

    In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

    Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

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#sharingSaturday 1.6.2024

So I wanted to share something today that’s been bringing me a great deal of peace and calm this past week.

About a week before Christmas, I saw an ad on Facebook for something called KIND NOTES. It was a website where you could purchase jars with different, enveloped sayings for many different things. For example, one was all about birthdays, one was about anniversaries, one was self-motivation and another was about inspiration.

I chose a jar called THERE’S ALWAYS A REASON TO SMILE because 2023 wasn’t a smiling year for me. In point of fact, I cried more than I smiled.

There are 31 inspiration envelopes with notes inside, one for every day of the month. So far this month, I’ve chosen these:

And a few others.

You chose one from the jar each day.

I’m smiling more so far this year…I think this may be part of the reason.

If you’re interested, here’s the website: KIND NOTES

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#throwbackthursday 1.4.2025

So I’ve been re-reading some of my earlier in my career posts, and thought it would be fun to put a few up to see how different things are now.

This one is from 12/2015. My, how things have changed…

POST HOLIDAY THOUGHTS…

I’ve been silent on my multiple social media sites since Christmas Eve because I was traveling to spend time with family for the holiday. I got home today to over 600 emails, 300 Twitter feeds I had to view, and too many Facebook announcements to cover. To say I was in a bit of Social Media withdrawal is the understatement of the season.

I recently read…somewhere, I forget exactly where…that people really do have addictions to their social media, or more accurately, their smartphones, which basically rule their lives. I can so, so believe this is true. NOMOPHOBIA is an actual psychiatric term given to the fear of being without your cell phone. I found a cool article that explains the condition, and you can click on it here.  To summarize, people fear being away from their phones to shower; they sleep with the phones under their pillows; and they experience high states and levels of measurable anxiety when they can’t readily locate their phones.

I will tell you honestly, I feel I suffer from this. Before my first book was published, I checked my sites on my phone maybe once a day. Since SKATER’S WALTZ hit the market I have increased that checking behavior to almost every half hour. It has gotten worse with each subsequent book release. I feel a constant need to be in touch with what is going on on my sites: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest the most. Honestly, I think I need to go to a support group and say, “hi. My name is Peggy and I’m addicted to my smartphone.” I have a recurrent nightmare as soon as I say that, all the other addicts in the room will whip out their own phones and start “searching” me.

Ridiculous.

So, after I spent a total of 6 hours going through everything, every site, every announcement, tweet and email, I was ready to do some serious writing work.

And then my phone beeped with incoming messages.

Speaking of social media sites, here’s a treat ( like that segue?!) Here’s a trailer for all the Candy Hearts books coming for Valentine’s Day, with the dates of their releases. Keep an eye on the 2/8/16 segment and you’ll see my cover, 3 Wishes. Click here:

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2023 goals/ 2024 goals…

It’s always fun for me to see where I started on January 1 and where I wound up on December 31 with regard to my writing and publishing goals.

2023’s goals started like this:

~ increase daily word counts to 2000-3k/day

~ increase Instagram traffic

~increase personal appearances

~ increase book sales ( e and print)

~establish ARC team

~ finish and pub. 8 books

~ increase webtraffic and subscribers

~generate exceptional Holiday 2023 revenue via webstore

So…how did I do? You decide.

~ increase daily word counts to 2000-3k/day. The reality is that I did 1500-2000 on most of the days I wrote, consecutively.

~ increase Instagram traffic. Started the year with 1626 subscribers. Today I have 1673. So, not bad,but nothing to write home about.

~increase personal appearances. I did 4 in 2022 and in 2023 I did 9

~ increase book sales ( e and print) The count is still out on this one, but I def. Increased in revenue from 2022 to 2023. I still can’t support myself, but my tax bracket changed, LOL

~establish ARC team. It’s a small one, but there are 6 readers I adore to whom I send all my books prior to publication. I would like to grow that to more people ( so if you’re interested, drop me a line, LOL).

~ finish and pub. 8 books. I had everything plotted out for 8 books, then my mother died and I lost a few months’ momentum. Ended up with: 6. Not bad, but not 8!

~ increase web traffic and subscribers. I track my follower numbers every month and I’ve decreased in some sites and increased on others.

~generate exceptional Holiday 2023 revenue via webstore. So I can tell you right now this was a bust. I only had 2 people order books from me via the site.

So…how did I do? You decide.

Now, for 2024’s goals:

~ write 6 books

~get an agent

~ get a traditional publishing contract for my non-fiction book

~ increase tiktok followers to 5K+

~increase print and e books sales

~do less marketing and more writing

~continue to learn new aspects of marketing on the cheap

~4 in-person events ( 2 large, 2 small)

~guest on podcasts

I’ll check back with you on December 31, 2024 so we can discuss how I did.

For now…

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