Every year, I try to set a goal for the 12 months ahead of me by choosing a word I want to lead me through the year. Something to define me, define my year, and define how I will handle any adversity or get me through tough times that may come my way.
My word for 2024 was UNSTOPPABLE. I let it define my writing career and the word allowed me to try new things I’d never done before in any and every attempt to get name recognition for my books and to garner new readers.
It’s a great word, and if I could have do-overs, I’d repeat it for 2025.
But…no do-overs allowed.
My word for this year is really a phrase, defining an action I want to help guide my life not only for 2025, but for the rest of my days, however many they may be, to come.
Those of you who know me personally know I am a knee-jerk reactor. What that means is that when placed in difficult or unsettling situations, I tend to react quickly, emotionally, and without thinking of any consequences my actions may cause.
I basically act before I think. Never a good thing.
Therapy will tell you I act this way because I was raised by a mother who suffered from mental and emotional issues and never let me get a word in when she was in one of her “spells.” I had to react quickly to be heard and seen and try to gain control of the situation before she hurt herself or someone else. Most times, I wasn’t able to think that fast, so that just perpetuated the knee-jerk reaction to come even harder.
Therapy will also tell you this is a negative coping mechanism I’ve utilized to survive and to protect myself from being hurt ( physically and emotionally) and is now ingrained in my mental DNA in such a way as it’s my default response.
Both of those statements are much too true for me to be comfortable admitting, but admit them I will.
Hi. My name is Peggy and I am a situational knee-jerker.
I say things in the heat of the moment I instantly regret, do things that can’t be undone, and cause emotional harm to the person I’m interacting with that I never intended. All to protect myself from being hurt first.
At 64 years old, that is a truth that I am utterly horrified to admit about myself and equally sad it exists for me.
So, 2025 is the year I intend to stop letting this behavior define me and how I act when circumstances get out of control. I realize I don’t need to protect myself like this any longer. I am a strong, capable, highly educated, bad-ass bitch of a woman who exudes self-confidence ( even when it isn’t felt!). I am powerful, worthy, and enough, just as I am. I am blessed, loved, and kind-hearted.
Took me 64 years to understand that. What’s that old saw about you’re never too old to learn something new?
So, my word – or really action phrase, if we’re going to get grammatical – is … Take a Breath.
Take a breath before you react.
Take a breath before you speak in anger.
Take a breath and let what’s happening settle before you respond either physically or verbally.
Take a breath and let yourself calm, drawing on all your internal strength and fortitude.
Take a breath and decide what your course of action should be.
Just…take a breath.
Like Faith Hill says: JUST…BREATHE
Now, let’s see if I can do this. Pray for me, kids.
~Peg
Peggy Jaeger, Author 