Category Archives: Strong Women

Insomnia…a good thing?

I don’t sleep much. 2 to 3 hours straight for me is considered a full night’s rest. I can fall asleep without any problems. It’s staying asleep that’s difficult.

My mind never NEVER shuts down, even in sleep. No matter what time of the day or night it is, no matter what time zone I’m in, or how physically exhausted I am, my brain, like the energizer bunny, keeps going. Most of the time this sucks wind. Dark purple smudges that need three applications of concealer are present under my eyes at all times. No amount of eye care product gets rid of them. I yawn consistently, so much so people think I’m bored when I’m around them. Not true – just tired. Like an overcharged battery, my brain goes on and on and on….

You get the picture.

There are times, though, when this has proven to be a good thing. Because I’m such a light sleeper, I always heard my child stir when she was baby, or later when she was a teenager and pushing the curfew regulations. (For reasons of disclosure, this never happened! She was always on time.) I know instantly when something is amiss in the house at night, such as when the power goes out during our numerous winter and spring storms. The instant the digital clocks flick off when the power goes, I’m up and at’em.

But the main reason my chronic insomnia is beneficial is because when the world is sleeping soundly and there isn’t a noise or distraction in my realm, I can sneak off to my attic and write for hours before I need to get up and really start the day. During my insomniac haze I am mentally clear and focused when conventional wisdom tells you I should be just the opposite. I can bang out 15-20 pages of my WIP at 3:30 in the morning and when noon strolls around I’m lucky to get 100 words written. I’m working on a novella right now that only gets my attention at 4 a.m. I’m writing it when I can’t stay in bed anymore and revising it during the light of day.

When I first started working as a Registered Nurse I worked what was called the grave yard shift of 11p.m to 7 a.m. for 2 years. On the nights I was off from work my mind never shut down so I’d be up most of the night watching old movies on television – no YouTube, CNN or late late night hosts back then.

Now when my insomnia gets me out of my bed I focus on my writing, which has been utterly prolific the past few months, hand in hand with the increase in my sleeping trends.

Too bad I don’t write vampire books. I know what ol’Dracula is going through with this whole up all night business.

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Families… can’t live with them, don’t want to live without them

I’m fascinated by families and birth order. As an only child, I was the solitary kid in rooms always filled with adults. I think one of the reasons I’m such a good and thorough observer is because I was raised in that era where children were seen but never heard. I learned very early in life how to watch people without them noticing, how to gage emotions and reactions during situations, and most importantly, how to describe what I was seeing.From the time I knew I was the only kid in my family’s realm, I dreamed of having siblings. It didn’t matter to me if I was the oldest, youngest, or came somewhere in the middle of the food chain. I wanted other people like me around the house. Sadly, it didn’t happen.
My life long fascination with birth order and how siblings react and interact with one another is the reason I like writing about big families. It gives me a great deal of pleasure to invent the families I always wanted as my own. I would have liked nothing more while growing up than to have older brothers looking out for me and sisters guiding my way to adolescence.Families come with their own sets of rules on behavior and thinking and actions. Most of it is based on the shared history they have, and much of it is situational. When I start a new book series, the dynamics in the family come first. Is there a father figure present and if so, how does he rule? If no dad is around, how does the mother keep order, pay the bills, provide for her children? What roles do the oldest and youngest play in  his scheme? All these questions are thought out prior to my ever typing a word of the story. I need to know “my families” before I can write about them.I invent the parents I wished I’d had growing up, along with the support system siblings bring with it. Since I was a step-kid to two new “parents” when my parents both remarried, I know what it means to be the outsider in a group. Resentments abound, feelings of insecurity and of not measuring up run rampant, and you never really “feel” as if anyone is truly on your side. Of course, these feelings follow us into adulthood so when I write about siblings who are aging, I know I need to have them make decisions and run courses of actions with those childhood traumas and dramas in mind.

What about you? Come from a big family, or are you an only like me? Where is your birth order and did it play a role in making you the person you are? Or did it hamper your dreams and desires because things were “expected of you?”

 

Birth order, sibling dynamics, and families are truly fascinating to read – and write – about.

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Why every one of us needs an Editor

Yesterday I was a guest blogger on writer Brenna Zinn’s blog. I talked about my love of figure skating and how I used this in my first romance novel Skater’s Waltz.  I mentioned Dorothy Hamill’s name several times and each time I spelled it incorrectly. So dumb! I know how to spell her name as well as my own and mine is much harder! Spell check doesn’t do names and I just glazed over it every time I read it in proofing. My Dartmouth grad English major daughter was the one who clued me into this mistake. Thank God for her.

This got me to thinking about why it is so imperative that we have editors.

Spell check was one of the best inventions ever and one of the worst. It has made us a writing nation of people who don’t bother to learn how to spell correctly and who don’t truly check our work, thinking our laptop programs will do it all and we will look like geniuses.

Na-ah. Doesn’t work that way.

I recently read a novel by a very famous and much published author who I happen to love. She mentioned colored contact lenses in the narrative of her story and even named the manufacturer. The only problem was that manufacturer doesn’t make colored contacts and never has. I know this because this is what I do for a paying job right now: I am a contact lens technician, so when I say I walk the walk and talk the talk of lenses, you can bank on it. Her editors and fact checkers paid her a huge disservice by not validating her statement and I think more people than just me noticed it.

So, back to editing. I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. When I write something I need to read it very very very slowly to make sure I have all the names correct, the i’s doted and the facts perfect. I don’t want to look like an idiot in print ( or in real life).

Lesson learned. Thank you, wise and learned daughter. And my sincere apologies to the fabulous Dorothy Hamill.

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Time and media…

It’s been almost a week since my book Skater’s Waltz went live into the reading stratosphere. And what a week it’s been.

I’m new to this whole world of publishing and marketing, and I’ve never been on social media so much. I can truly see how being on Twitter, FB and the rest can be an addictive process. I hear the “tweet” sound on my phone signaling another twitter message I’m mentioned in and I automatically grab my phone. I get “pinged” whenever  a new email arrives and “whistled at” when Facebook updates. All this audio is doing a number on my ears and my ego.

One thing I remember other authors saying at numerous conferences and during chats is that you can get carried away by your media sites if you don’t keep a lid on it, and believe me, this week I’ve found that to be true. As nice as it is to interact with folks on social media, it’s nicer still just to sit and write. That is, after all, what got me started on this path.

So, as I enter the second week of my book’s marketing plan – complete with interviews, a Twitter-purge,  blog posts, and GoodReads questions- I’m turning my phone down when I’m writing. I’ll check it periodically because there are some emails and texts I can’t ignore – like those from family – but for the rest, I’ll let the Twitter-verse and Facebook bloggers have their say and then respond at a later time.

Who new being social was so exhausting??!! But really uplifting as well.

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Filed under Author, Contemporary Romance, Family Saga, MacQuire Women, Romance, Romance Books, Skater's Waltz, Strong Women

Release-Eve thoughts….

Tomorrow, Skater’s Waltz is released into the world. Last week I admitted how fretful – well, terrified really – I am about this for a  number of reasons. I’ve had a few days to sit back and, while biting my nails, reflect on this. So here goes.

I am a truly private person. I know that sounds ridiculous since I have this blog, Facebook account, Twitter handle, am a Pinterest follower am LinkedIn, and Google plus-ed, but it’s true. As much as is “out there” in the cyber-verse about me, I keep a great deal of my emotions, thoughts ( yes, believe it!), and musings locked in my head. So when I tell you I’m terrified of this book failing, it is a huge admission for me to give a voice to.

I fail all the time. It’s true. I fail at weight loss, I fail to keep up with my exercise regimen, I fail people…enough about that one. So, you can see, failure is familiar to me and I usually don’t dwell on it, just get back on my proverbial horse and push on.

But this… this is soooooo different in every aspect. This book represents everything about me. My hopes, my dreams, my thoughts, my words, my loves. To have it fail – and by fail I mean, no one likes it, derides it, and makes fun of it – would, quite simply, be devastating.

I know I shouldn’t dwell on failure, because it can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Obviously, someone liked it because it’s being published. So there’s that. People will say “don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.” And that’s nice to hear. But it’s so easy for someone else to say. Unless you have been in this position, as any writer has, it is impossible to empathize with what this feels like in your heart, soul and mind. As a writer, you put yourself out there on a ledge by asking people to read what you have to say. You love what you’ve written. It represents something that came from deep inside you, something that you gave your all to in order to bring forth. Discovering that people don’t like it, or worse – think it’s silly or stupid, or (the ultimate worst) badly written, is heartstoppingly traumatizing. I can hear how dramatic this sounds but believe me, from a writer’s viewpoint, it’s true.

As for the rest, I guess tomorrow will tell. I’ve done everything I could to promote it, market it, spread the word, and try to drum up some excitement from the people I know. I guess, as always, time will tell.

For now though, I’m going to go have a cookie…or several. And then try to exercise.

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I must be a real author now!!

So I must be a REAL author because I have an author page on Amazon.com. The link to it is http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00T8E5LN0.

Come on over and leave me some love, FOLLOW me and check back in a week or so for the “buy link” for my March 4 release of Skater’s Waltz from the Wild Rose Press.

Now, I just have to figure out how to list myself on Goodreads!

 

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The times, they are a changing…NOT!

I went to High School in the 1970’s, a time of great political strife and social turmoil in our country. America was coming off the hippy highs of the sixties and the age of Aquarius, and social norms were being destroyed and rewritten at an alarming rate. We’d put a man on the moon, finally brought our Viet Nam vets home to a less than stellar homecoming embrace, seen a President disgraced while in office, and been confronted full in the face with racism, sexism, ageism and Wall Street greed.

I attended  a public high school where a New York City police office was stationed at the entrance to the school before this became the societal norm. My school was huge, with over 1500 students spread across grades 9-12. I entered in 1974 a scared, nervous, naïve, smart and shy 14 year old, and graduated in 1978 the same way.

As an only child, I’d been coddled and protected from what my mother called, “the cruelty of the world.” As a child of divorce, I was an anomaly in school. In my entire grade there were only 3 kids whose parents had divorced. Me and a set of twins who were habitually in the principal’s office. And since my mother had remarried, her last name was different from mine.

This made me a social oddity when the teenage world didn’t accept others who were different from them. Coupled with the fact that I was smart – really smart – and grossly overweight ( think killer Orca) from an emotional eating disorder, you can guess I wasn’t the most popular chick in the school.

I was the kid that the mean girls- who were simply called bullies in my time –picked on daily. I was the girl in class who wrecked the test curve by getting better grades than 99 % of the rest of the class. I was the girl teachers loved to call on because I always had the correct answer to a question, despite the fact I hated to be called on because it drew attention to me that I didn’t want.

I never had a boyfriend in high school, didn’t go to dances, never attended prom, and sat home nights with my mother and stepfather, watching All in the Family and The Carol Burnett Show. I was that socially awkward and isolated kid who could have turned to the dark side because no one would listen.

The difference between high school kids in the 1970’s and now isn’t that different. Bullies still bully; druggies still drug. The jocks rule the playground, smart kids lead the class and everyone else in the middle just tries to get by enough to graduate.

Two things that did make me different from my peers and which actually did keep me from going to the dark side, were my 4 wonderful English teachers and my love of writing. All helped me get through some tough years and even tougher social situations.

Teachers do not now, and have never in my mind, gotten the respect and appreciation they so richly deserve. Without that one teacher who told me I was made for great things, or the other who told me someday she would come to my book signing when I “made it big,” I would never have had the courage to show my work – my deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts – to others. I would have continued to hold my work hostage, never letting any prying eyes go through it for fear of ridicule and criticism.

I was lucky. I had four wonderful people guide me towards what made me most happy and fostered that love unconditionally.

If you’ve had a favorite teacher, now, at the beginning of this new and fresh year, maybe you should call them, Friend them, email or snail-mail them and remind them what they did for you.

It’s never too late to let someone know what they meant to you during what has to be the most difficult time in a person’s life: Adolescence!

 

 

 

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Fan girl crush

Is it weird to admit – at my age – I have a fan-girl crush?

Not the wacko stalker kind. But the kind of crush that makes you smile without knowing you’re doing it or the reason why you are?

Okay, so here’s my confession, then. My fan-girl crush is on Nora Roberts.

Yeah, THAT Nora Roberts. Author of about a gazillion books, all of them wonderful. Creator of the “In Death” series, which features two of the best characters ever put to the page: Eve Dallas and * sigh * Roarke. Master plotter, publishing wunderkind, and one of the most proliferate authors on the planet.

I had the absolute pleasure to meet her, shake her hand, get an autograph and listen to her give a master lecture this past summer at RWA 2014. I think I smiled the entire time. Well, not when I cried when I met her, though. But even through the tears, I was smiling with glee!

I’ve read every book she’d ever had published, some of them two or three times. Why? Because she is – to me – the penultimate master in romance writing. The way she can convey an emotion, a look, a thought, is pure writing genius.

She is a completely humble woman, as well, and she gets a million kudos for that. She could be the most conceited, arrogant writer you will ever meet. But she is not. She is warm, open, damn funny, sarcastically spot-on and just a delight to listen to with her smoker’s gravel voice, and her characteristic way of turning a phrase.

If you ever have the opportunity to attend a lecture she is giving – GO! As a writer you will learn more than you ever thought to, be inspired like you never dreamed you would, and be entertained thoroughly.

Yes, I am a 54 year old wife-mother-nurse-writer and I have a fan-girl crush. Deal with it.

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When is too much personal info, well, too much?

I read an interesting writers blog the other day which questioned how much of ourselves we should and should not put out there on social media sites. Here’s the link: http://www.brendamoguez.com/manic-modays/how-much-is-too-much-to-confess/

I’ve questioned myself numerous times over the past 10 months since I decided to make this writing career the next chapter in my life. In order to have a solid career in writing you need a following; a fan base; readers. Although I’m well-known in my town, I need more than the local peeps to build this base, so I’ve entered the social media realm.

I started with a website, then branched over to Facebook and Twitter. I’m LinkedIn and tumble on Tumblr. I pin on Pinterest and Googleplus myself into a frenzy. Keeping up with all these sites is a lot of work, and it got me to thinking: When is publicly divulging too much information about yourself, well, too much? 

My blog has an About Me page that lists 10 things you may or may not know about me – or let’s face it – you may not even care to know about me! There are ten millions more things I could have listed on there, but didn’t. Things such as, I read every Agatha Christie book published before I was 12; I didn’t go on a date until I was 21 and didn’t know at the time he was married. Married! (The jerk!) I didn’t go to prom in high school because I was so fat and so unpopular, no one asked me. I started going gray at 16 because of a genetic link that causes premature graying. While this stuff may be interesting to the people who love me, is it really interesting to the general book buying public?

There are things about us which we all have that we really don’t want people to know about  because they’re a little too revealing. And let’s face it: a little too close to deflating that precious ego we all have.

I’ve read twitterfeeds that detail everything the tweeter is doing, from going to work, to arriving, to getting a coffee, to the stomach cramps they have from not eating. And my question is always “Who the heck cares?” Who cares if I’m stuck in traffic? Who cares if I have a dentist appointment? Really, is this information ANYONE- except maybe a stalker – would want to know?

I tend to keep a lot of information close to the vest. That’s just me. I don’t need to know everything about a person when I meet them. I enjoy finding about them as the relationship progresses. And truly, isn’t there something written somewhere about how being mysterious is intriguing and beguiling? I certainly think that’s true.

So the question of when is too much personal info too much is just that: personal. We each decide how much or how little of ourselves we want “out there.”

For me, I prefer to divulge a little at a time, and give away nothing I would be embarrassed to get parroted back to me. Well, that one thing about dating the married man may have been too much to tell. But really, he was a jerk and we only went on two dates. That was one way too many in hindsight.

 

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Christmas is coming and you know what THAT means, don’tcha?

With the holiday season approaching in a ridiculously fast manner, there are a ton of new romance books out with Christmas themes. Books about Christmas brides, Christmas babies, Christmas engagements, even Christmas cowboys ( Yowza!) It got me thinking about why this time of year has such a plethora of romance-related reading material popping up.

Christmas is a time of rebirth, of joy, of giving thanks for the blessings in your life, and ultimately for celebrating Jesus’s birth – remember folks: Jesus is the reason for the season. It makes some kind of sense then that the Christmas baby book bonanza for romance novels is such a widely loved trope. An unexpected surprise is delivered on a doorstop one Christmas morning : a baby. A women who never thought she’d have a child suddenly finds she’s now the “mother” to a slew of nieces and nephews whose parents have been killed, or who have abandoned them. A Christmas miracle happens and a women becomes pregnant when up to this time she hasn’t been able.

Such are the themes of Christmas baby books.

The Christmas bride books are also a popular sell. I will admit this since most people know it already, but I got married the day after Christmas. A few distant relatives and some friends found this date horrific and chose not to attend my wedding due to obligations elsewhere. That was fine with me. I chose this date for a number of reasons which I won’t go into. But it turned out to be a great date for several reasons: 1. All of both our families were together celebrating the holidays; 2. I always pictured a winter wedding, complete with snow and Christmas finery; 3. The Church was already decked out for Christmas – so I didn’t have to pay extra for flowers and decorations ( I’m no dummy, folks, when it comes to saving money), and 4. I knew it was a date my husband wasn’t likely to ever forget was our anniversary.

Getting engaged on Christmas is the second date only to Valentine’s Day where the question is popped. Truly, is there a better present than an engagement ring, all new and sparkly and put on your finger by the guy you want to spend forever with?? I think not.

So, with the holiday rush beginning now that Halloween is but a memory, you will see a large number of new releases on the shelves ( both store and Kindle) with holiday themed covers and stories. I suggest you buy a few that hit your fancy because – trust me – they all have happily ever after endings ( something we all desire ) and they will all make you feel just a little happier during the holiday season.

A few of my favorite new Christmas themed releases this year:

Christmas in Cupid Falls, By Holly Jacobs

A Cowboy’s Christmas Promise, by Maggie McGinnes

The Twelve Brides of Christmas, from The Wild Rose Press

Merry Christmas Baby, by Jill Shalvis

 

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