Tag Archives: Destiny’s Child

Why I write about strong women….

Most people who either know me professionally or who have seen my tagline anywhere, know that I write about strong women, the families who support them, and the men who can’t live without them. That’s my writing style in a nutshell.

But…why strong women? I mean, as opposed to just regular, hardworking women? Or weak women? Or down-on-their luck women? I could go on, but really…you get the idea.

The reason is easy: strong women speak to me.

I’ve read too many books – romance and general fiction – where the woman was a doormat who let everyone in her realm wipe their feet all over her, said “thank you” when they did, and then went on to live a hum-drum life. Not me.

I’ve read too many books about weak women who cry if you look at them crooked, can’t get a bead on their emotional immaturity, and play the victim for attention. Never me.

I’ve read too many books about women who go through life complaining, bitching, and moaning in a whoa-is-me voice who never take responsibility for themselves, their problems, or their lives. Nope. Not me.

I’ve read too many books where the women were entitled, self centered, narcissistic biatches who felt the world should drop at their feet simply because they are: beautiful, rich, talented, etc. So not me!!

You get the idea. I’ve read a lot of books about women who simply didn’t speak to me.

Strong women do.

A strong women will fight for what she wants. She won’t let people or the world in general beat her down. She knows what she wants and she goes after it.

A strong woman can’t be stopped when she’s on a trek – be it of discovery or for a purpose – try though people might. She moves forward, through the muck, through the dark, to find the light of desires and wishes.

A strong woman doesn’t rely on a man to take care of her, pay her bills, or fix her problems. She does that all on her own. That’s not to say she doesn’t want a man in her life. It’s simply that she doesn’t NEED one. Get the difference? Yeah, I figured you would! heehee.

So. Strong women. Love them. Be them. Raise them.

And in the words of Destiny’s Child, (who were speaking of Independent women, but you can simply substitute STRONG for Independent):

I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Try to control me, boy, you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh, and I pay my own bills
Always fifty fifty in relationships
The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it
The clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it
The rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it
‘Cause I depend on me if I want it
The watch I’m wearin’, I’ve bought it
The house I live in, I’ve bought it
The car I’m driving, I’ve bought it
I depend on me
‘Nuff said.
#BeAStrongWoman.
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If you could define yourself in a song, what would it be?

Many of the writers I know personally are big into play lists. They have their favorite music streaming while they write; they even come up with individual play lists for each book they pen.

Not me. Not so much. I NEED peace and quiet when I write. The one noise I love to listen to while I’m at the laptop is the sound of the rain as it comes down outside my attic loft writing room. Rain in the ultimate white noise for me. If I’ve got music on in the background, I tend to sing along and never get anything written. I envy those writers who can compose written lines while listening to background noise. Their brains work so much better at compartmentalizing than mine does.

Having said all that, I love music – of any kind. Classical to rock; rap to hip-hop; Elvis to Eminem. When I’m not writing, I listen to my playlists on my i-Pad. My favorite song of all time is Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers. I just got distracted and listened to it 3 times while I uploaded it to this post. See? This is why I can’t listen to music while I write.

So, that’s my favorite song. But to answer the question in the title of this blog, the song that defines me is Survivor by Destiny’s Child. Although, the Gloria Gaynor I will Survive is a pretty close second. The fact I have survived many horrible things in my life and have come out in the light instead of turning to the dark side, is a testament to my faith, my determination, and  that I believe like Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 

Now, the things I’ve survived in my life may not be as horrible or as life changing as many others have lived through. But they’ve been pretty brutal to me. I survived a fall out an apartment window when I was 18 months that all the doctors said should have killed me. It left with a face full of scars and a terrifying fear of heights. I lived through a childhood rife with functional poverty, ( for those not acquainted with this term, it simply means we lived a hair above the poverty line but could never qualify for any “assistance”),  a horrible adolescence filled with bullying, an eating disorder that still plagues me sometimes to the day, profound emotional abuse from someone I loved and trusted, family psych issues. I almost lost my daughter – twice!- and I’ve fought  melanoma. Again, others have gone through and come through much, much worse than all this. But this is what defines me.

So, Survivor is my  musical anthem…what’s yours?

 

 

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Filed under Author, Contemporary Romance, Life challenges, Romance, Strong Women