A Reflection on the Dark Dance with the Shadow We Call Depression

A piece worth reading, a thought worth remembering, and my own addition, the TAO of NGU NGI for all those struggling – never give up never give in.

susanannwall's avatarSusan Ray, Instructional Designer

I wrote this two days after Robbin Williams’ death and opted not to post it at that time because too often viral messages have a very short life expectancy. Depression, or any disease, isn’t something we should think about only in the fleeting, emotionally-charged moments following a tragedy; depression is like a virus that spreads, slowly, methodically, praying on those who don’t have the means to fight it. It doesn’t mean someone is weak or selfish or desperate. Depression is different for every person who faces it. I’ve been sitting on this post for a year, and now on the anniversary of Mr. Williams’ death, I think it’s time to finally release this into the wind as a reminder that depression is alive and not just lurking in the shadows, but thriving and stealing the livelihood of too many.


55fc983c13_robin-williamsRobbin Williams did not have a profound impact on my life…

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How does your Hero smell?

I know… that’s a horrible title. LOL. It conveys so many negative images, doesn’t it?

What I really want to know is, what –for lack of a better word – smell or scents do you use to describe your male characters?

I’ve read heroes defined as smelling like sandalwood, natural musk, earthy, woodsy, piney, and like leather. Okay. So he smells like he’s been tramping about in the woods or forest. These are okay descriptions for lumberjacks and Men in Kilts.   I’ve also read descriptions stating the hero smelled like cigarettes, booze, hay, horse sweat, and even “like a farm.” None of those descriptions made me want to jump into fictional bed with the guy.

I read a very old romance novel once that said this: His clothes had the odor of the fish he’d caught that day on them. Right away I knew I wasn’t going to finish this book. There was no way a hero should smell like stale-or even fresh-fish.

Ugh.

Sensory descriptions are mandatory when you write romance novels. All five of the senses need to be explored. Sight, taste, and touch have their own separate categories and I could blog for days on just those three alone. Sound is also important to put in a narrative or a descriptor. But smell; smell can form an instant recognition and connection of your character with your reader.

Everyone knows what grass, lemons, and the beach smell like. They are sensory memories stored in your brain and olfactory system for life. So if I describe a hero’s aftershave as cool and lemony, you have an immediate reference and knowledge for what it smells like.   If I say my hero brought the smell of fresh cut grass in with him, again, you have an allusion to what I am trying to convey. The line he smelled of sand and sea is fairly synonymous with the fresh smell of a beach. (Note, smelling like the sea is NOT the same as smelling like fish!) These are pleasant scents that, when we read them, elicit pleasant memories.

I’m not big on guys wearing cologne. I’ll put that out there and suffer the wrath of every woman who loves her guy doused in Polo. I tend to favor – and be stimulated by (okay: turned on by!) more natural scents. I love a guy who’s right from a shower and smells clean and fresh; I don’t even mind the normal odor of a sweaty guy – if he’s doing something sporty or physical and working up a nice, decent sweat. This is the smell I usually think of when I hear someone smells manly, or like a man. And there’s something about a guy who’s grilling and the aroma following him that makes my mouth water.

Okay, now that I think about the last one, it could just be the smell of cooked meat I’m getting aroused by.

Speaking of meat, a few years ago there was a study done by some big company about what smell men are most attracted to on a woman. It wasn’t roses, or any kind of flower. It wasn’t the clean, dewy, fresh-out-of-the-bath fragrance either. It was – are you ready for it?- bacon.

I know!

I seems cooking isn’t the only way to a man’s heart. All my single girlfriends out there – invite a guy you like to a meal and then make him something with bacon in it. It’s almost like a guaranteed proposal. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what that proposal should be.

So, when you’re doing due diligence and incorporating those 5 senses into your writing, remember to include something that will stimulate a positive olfactory memory.

And stay away from descriptors for fishy smells.

Best male smell descriptions you’ve ever read…let’s discuss…

 

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Guest Post: Joanne Guidoccio

One of my wonderful Wild Rose Press Sistahs. Check her out.

Tracee Ford, The Smart Mouth Writer's avatarTracee Ford

Revisiting the Dream

During my ASeasonforKillingBlondes_w9101_750 (2)high school years, I dabbled in poetry while dreams of a writing career dangled before me. But I gave in to my practical Italian side and pursued degrees in mathematics and education. While teaching was a good career fit, in my heart of hearts, I knew that I would write a novel at some point in my life. All I needed was more time and more energy.

Be careful what you wish for…

Five months before my fiftieth birthday, I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and forced to take a leave of absence. With all my energies focused on healing, I searched for light and breezy novels that would distract me. I was grateful for the bags of books dropped off by well-meaning friends but couldn’t get into any of the storylines. I found the philosophical books too intense and the comedic books unsatisfying.

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What is- or what would you like- your superhero power (to be)

I was asked this when I did an interview and I think it’s such a great question for discussion, along the lines of who is better – Batman or Superman? I’ll tell you who I think it is at the end of this.

Would I like to go invisible like (duh!) the Invisible Man? The thought makes me a little light headed. Have a rope of truth like Wonder Woman (well, what woman wouldn’t want that? Especially if she thinks her honey is fibbing to her??)

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Does Thor’s hammer of strength appeal to me? Not really. What about Hawkeye’s deadly bow? Not so much. Captain America’s shield? Um, no.

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Spiderman’s spidey sense – can’t even consider this one. I hate spiders. Even super heroes who act like them. Yuk. I might like to control the weather, but then I think about how everyone hates the weatherman and renege on the thought.

X-ray vision might be cool, but then I think about all those man-thong wearers out there and I cringe in disgust.

I would have to say my superpower would be (and in reality, is) my ability to make people laugh even when the situation I’m in is highly charged and emotional.

I’m the type of gal who gets hit with the giggles at inappropriate times. During a funeral once I found something the eulogizer said funny and laughed out loud. I was the only one. I’m that female who always says the wrong thing for the wrong reason due to nerves. At a wake once I was telling a story and said, “Oh, my God, I was so embarrassed I almost died. “ Yes. At a wake. Where there was a dead body a few feet away. And yup, I’m the one who is usually making other people blush with my bluntness because I always feel the quickest way to say something is the way that causes you to get the most bang for your buck.

But even with all that, I make people laugh.

I once had an extremely irate patient yell at me for what seemed like an hour straight but was probably about 5 minutes. I let him rant, never saying a word. When he finally ran out of speed, after telling me all the things that had been done to him and what he was now doing – which BTW weren’t making him any better – I cocked my head at him and said, “How’s that going for ya?” He was so flabbergasted, he laughed. Out loud. A full belly shake. And then I helped him with the problem he was having. When he left my office sweetness and light surrounded him.

I watched a waitress get reamed by a very hostile and drunk customer once. She kept her cool, never once defending herself or yelling back at him. When she came to the table where my friends and I were, she was visibly shaking and had a painful smile on her face, but she was lovely to us and trying to pretend nothing had happened. When she asked if she could help us, I asked back, “Want us to go and beat that guy up? We can do it so no one sees us. Really. My uncle is connected. I know what I’m doing.”

She stared at me for a second and then smiled. The smile turned into a grin, which turned into laugh. When my entire table of people was done laughing, she said, “Thanks, but it’s okay.” When we left I noticed she had comped our drink order so we all pitched in and left her a $100.00 tip.

The Reader’s Digest used to have a column titled, Laughter is the best medicine, and it’s so true. Anytime you can use laughter to diffuse a situation, relieve someone’s embarrassment, or for any reason to make them feel good, it’s worthwhile.

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So. Superman or Batman? For me it’s always and forever going to be Superman. Hey, he can fly, has super hearing, sight and smell, is uber-strong and can stop bullets in his hand. Plus he’s a writer like me (Clark Kent anyone?) Batman, not so much. Cut him he bleeds, hit him he falls. Yeah, he may be a mega rich playboy, but he needs a whole cave of techie stuff to get the job done. Unlike Superman who is all-natural.

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Besides: Batman looks like…well…a bat.

Thoughts? Let’s discuss…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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OMG! Looks who’s listed in the #7 spot!

http://www.usabooknews.com/fictionromance.html

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Sneak Peek!

http://bit.ly/1MKb3pZ

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What book would you bring to a deserted island if you were stranded and could only have only one?

(And I’m not talking about bringing the Kindle here, loaded with millions of titles. It’s a real, paper and ink book we’re discussing today.)

Tough question? Yes, it is, that’s why I’m asking it. You need to dig deep here, kids.

Answers could include everything from the Bible to War and Peace; David Copperfield to Gone with the Wind; Harry Potter book 1 to The fault is in our Stars.

Depending on what genre you like to read, it could be a non-fiction bestseller, an autobiography, a sports book or even Camping for Dummies (hey, you ARE stranded on a deserted island, you know.)

For myself it’s a no-brainer. I’d bring Pride and Prejudice.

Why would I bring a book whose story is over 250 years old, you ask. Well, I’m glad you did.

As a lover of romance novels – and a writer of the same – Pride and Prejudice for me is the penultimate story of love. It has everything a romance book should have: a strong female lead; a tortured, romantic hero, miscommunication, drama, betrayal, several black moments, a wonderful story-line, and most of all a happily ever after ending that endures for all time.

I think I’ve read this book – no lie – two dozen times since I was 11. The first time I read it the language gave me a bit of difficulty – hey, I was a  tween! – and I had trouble understanding some of the plot. I did think Mr Collins was odious, though, even at that tender age, a thought I still have to this day.

I read it again for high school English. This time around, though, I was able to gleam more about the plot and I remember wondering why Lizzy didn’t try to talk Charlotte out of marrying Mr Collins. If she was a true friend, she should have. I also remember it was at this time in my life I began to see Darcy for the hunkadoodledoo he was.

College brought the next reading and by now I loved Lizzy for her strength of character and her loyalty and – even though I knew the end of the story – I prayed she would wind up with Darcy and not the narcissistic Wickham.

The next several times I read the book were after relationship breakups. I’d read the book cover to cover while inhaling cartons of Milano cookies and Pepperidge farm layer cakes. Then I’d watch the BBC rendition with Colin Firth as Darcy. This always made me feel so much better and got me through the downside of the breakups.

After I was married and the Kiera Knightley movie version came out, I read it again a few times and was impressed with how easy it now was to understand the language. Much more so than when I was 11 and had an untrained English lit ear.

Through all of the re-reads, though, I have never once been disappointed with the story. I know some of the page dialogue by heart and can quote Lizzy’s infamous dismissal speech to Darcy verbatim. The story stands up to time and differing cultures, class and age group demographics.

If I could only take one book to read on that island until I was (hopefully) rescued, it would always be Pride and Prejudice.

And in the event I could take two…..

My most recent book, THE VOICES OF ANGELS.

Blurb:

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Love is the last thing Carly Lennox is looking for when she sets out on her new book tour. The independent, widowed author is content with a life spent writing and in raising her daughter. When newscaster Mike Woodard suggests they work on a television magazine profile based on her book, Carly’s thrilled, but guarded. His obvious desire to turn their relationship into something other than just a working one is more than she bargained for.

Mike Woodard is ambitious, and not only in his chosen profession. He wants Carly, maybe more than he’s ever wanted anything or anyone else. As he tells her, he’s a patient man. But the more they’re together, Mike realizes it isn’t simply desire beating within him. Carly Lennox is the missing piece in his life. Getting her to accept it-and him-may just be the toughest assignment he’s ever taken on.

Buy Links: Amazon /// TWRP /// Kobo /// Nook

If you need to find me, you can:  Tweet Me// Read Me// Visit Me// Picture Me//Pin Me//Friend Me//Google+Me//

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Who is your favorite Villain?

The person we love to hate; the man we’d like to see incarcerated for life; the woman who needs to be bitch-slapped right now. These are the characters we call Villains.

The true definition of a villain is: the person or thing responsible for specified trouble, harm, or damage.

In romance novels the villain can be:

  • the old flame who comes back into the hero’s life, flooding the heroine with doubts about his love
  • an ex-spouse, or co-worker, or a boss
  • a parent or family member who wants to break the hero and heroine up for any number of selfish reasons
  • ANYONE who has a vested interest in pulling the love interests apart.

Some of my favorite characters are what could be termed villains. They are all self -serving, narcissistic and (mostly) devoid of principles.

Here are a few of my favs:

Caroline Bingley, Pride and Prejudice. The quintessential bitch in a ball gown.

Rochester’s first wife, Jane Eyre. Truly,  one insane biatch.

Briony Tallis, Atonement. (most people won’t agree with me on this one because Briony sets out to atone for her acts, but for much of the novel, she’s the bad guy, and therefore a villain in my mind.

Mrs. Danvers, Rebecca. The original psycho-bitch.

Iago, Othello. Master manipulator and jealous creepazoid.

The best villains I’ve ever read, though, are those characters everybody likes and would never suspect are performing acts of villainy. The good ‘ole southern girl in who’s mouth butter wouldn’t melt, while she’s backstabbing the s**t out of our heroine; the charming rake with a grin a soccer field wide who’s stripping the company’s bankroll bare. Walt Disney had this thing  for step-mothers cast in the role of villains – a true mommy complex if there ever was one. Ever see Dangerous Liaisons?  Best villains EVER.

And of course the best part of reading a book with a good villain is the scene where he/she gets their comeuppance. I live for Karmic payback scenes, absolutely live. Since I’m not quick on the witty repartee comeback ( I need to think and think…and think some more before it’s absolutely a perfect zinger), I appreciate people who are. There’s nothing more satisfying to me than seeing someone get what’s coming to them if they’ve been a rotter to our dear H/H. Remember the last scene in Dangerous Liaisons when Glenn Close gets booed and hissed at during the opera? I booed and hissed at the television right along with the pretend French people in the movie. I know…I’m a little off the beaten track, but hey: I’m happy.

So, dig into your memory banks. Who’s your favorite villain and why? Let’s discuss…

 

 

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RWA15 final thoughts…

So it’s a little less than a week since I got home from RWA15 in New York. My mind and body were depleted and yet strangely energized as well. Last year – as an RWA conference virgin – I was too excited to appreciate the networking going on around me; too excited meeting my favorite authors in the flesh; too excited to realize what an unbelievable opportunity the conference was to enhance my career.

This year was different on so many levels. Oh, I was still excited beyond belief at meeting my favorite authors- and some new ones – but I took the opportunity afforded  me and branched out in several ways to advance my writing career.

Last year the workshops I attended had more to do with seeing the well known authors presenting them. I took no classes on craft, marketing or the business of publishing. This year, those were the only classes I sat in on.

Last year I stood in line for 2 hours to get Nora Roberts’ autograph at the Literacy signing. This year I volunteered at the event and was thrilled to be assigned to one of my favorite authors of all time, Jayne Ann Krentz. I learned more from watching her  interact with her fans for just 2 hours than I could have learned in years in public relations courses. She showed me – up close and personally – what it’s like to be on the other side of the publishing/writing curtain (like that little Wizard of Oz tie-in??!). As a fan I’ve always seen just my own reaction to meeting a writer one time. Ms Krentz had to deal with hundreds of fans all individually  and uniquely excited, and wanting her to know what her writing means to them – and stay up beat, focused, and gracious, which she was to every single one of them. She never refused to have a photograph taken, or listen to a story about a particular book of hers, or even offer some advice to a fledgling author ( moi!), and her beautiful smile never slipped. By observing how she handled herself during those 2 hours I know precisely how to conduct myself during a book signing. Thank you so much, Jayne Ann Krentz!

From my PRO-retreat workshops I learned how invaluable branding, social media, and marketing are to a writer – whether she be multi-published or fledgling. Anna Alexander and Catherine Bybee were deep wells of information regarding these topics and if I came away with anything to remember during this conference it was this: “A person needs to hear your name 7-10 times before it’s recognizable to them.” Thank you, Catherine Bybee, for this gem. My tweets have increased 100-fold, as have my other social media alerts all because of this statement.

I met with my “dream” agent at a pitch session- something that put terror into my little heart. Not because of the agent, but because I was so nervous about “putting myself out there.” I don’t like to talk about myself – a dumb thing to hear from a blogger, eh?! But on paper you don’t have to look at me and I don’t have to look at you. It’s all fairly visually anonymous. I don’t get nervous when it’s on paper ( or the laptop, really). But face to face is another story entirely. Anyway. Despite my nerves, the agent was lovely, gracious and sweet. I’ll let you know in the future if things progress on this front.

One last memory that will live with me for the rest of my career is the workshop I took with Christie Craig. I’ve mentioned in a previous blog how I think she should be the keynote speaker at next year’s conference and here’s why: this woman is an inspiration in  more than just writing. Her personal journey through life and in her writing career could be made into a must-see television movie for the Hallmark Channel. It would win its time slot for the night, week, month and year. I have always put forth my own writing TAO called NGU NGI ( never give up and never give in.) Ms Craig lives this TAO every day and boy, does it show in her success. I think we can all  use her as an example.

RWA16 will be in San Diego – a town I’ve visited before and loved, so I can’t wait to go. Maybe next year I will be an author participant in the literacy signing. If so, I will remember what I learned from Jayne Ann Krentz about how to conduct myself with fans.

Thank you RWA, Jayne Ann Krentz, Christie Craig, Kristan Higgins, Tracy Brogan, Jill Shalvis, and all the other amazing authors who presented workshops, spent a little time with me out of class to answer any questions, and to my wonderful, talented NHRWA chapter-mates who all journeyed south to NYC this year.

 

 

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RWA15, wrap-up…

Well, I’m back in my cozy, cool home. I finished unpacking, did two loads of laundry and went grocery shopping.

And I reflected on an amazing conference. Multi-published and award winning author Nalini Singh was the saturday morning key-note speaker. She had us laughing-and tearing up a bit-when she described her first trek across country on a train to her very first RWA conference. The Perils of Pauline could have been re-written and marketed as the Perils Of Nalini, as she described her experience on a broken down Amtrak train, an unscheduled stopover in Philadelphia, and the first time she was recognized and wished she hadn’t been!

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Saturday the workshops were outstanding, but the one  I want to talk about was Polish Me Pretty: Five Polishing Tips to Take Your Writing to the Next Level by Christie Craig.  If you don’t know about this amazing women – shame on you! I learned more from her about how to evoke emotions and visualizations when writing a scene than from any other human being alive. Ever. And not only is she is wonderful teacher, she is a truly exceptional motivational speaker. She shared the tale of her humble beginnings in life, teenage marriage and motherhood, her dyslexia, and her 100’s – truly!- of rejection letters before getting the call that changed her life. There should be some kind of petition started to ensure she is next year’s RWA16 keynote speaker. There wouldn’t be a dry eye or a belly that wasn’t shaking with laughter in the house.

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The conference ended with annual Rita and GoldenHeart awards ceremony. The fabulous Lisa Kleypas was the host and I can attest she is as beautiful in person as she is on her book jackets. I won’t name all the winners, but I will tell you my favorite of the night. Jill Shalvis – after 13 nominations – won for One in a Million in the mid length contemporary romance category. She is truly a fan favorite and one of my absolute must reads whenever she has something new out. hbrqqwtt

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I’ll need a few days to wind down and reflect some more on my experiences this year at the conference, so you’ll have to suffer through one more posting from me next week! Until then….here’s the last picture I took of the book giveaways. Add 25 more to this picture and you see why my arm is so sore from tugging my suitcase along on the road back home!

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