Tag Archives: Anxiety

April 20, 2017 · 10:01 am

#Dancetime is upon me

Tonight is my last dress rehearsal before tomorrow’s first night of competition for Project Graduations’ DANCING WITH THE KEENE STARS.

The last time I danced in this competition I was the STAR and this is what I looked like:

This time around I am the partner. Just as much responsibility – remember what Ginger Rogers always said? She had to do EVERYTHING Fred Astaire did; backward and in heels – but not nearly the amount of nerves or anxiety. In fact, this kind of sums up how I’m feeling:

So, if you’re in the area on Friday or Saturday night and are looking for an evening of fun, entertainment, and want to support a worthy cause, hop on down tot he high school, pay your 20 bucks and have a great time.

You won’t be disappointed!

Public speaking isn’t for sissies…

So, this weekend I’ll be here:

I’m part of the Vendor’s event on Friday night, hawking my books and pressing the flesh ( why that always sounds so dirty to me, I can’t tell ya, but it does! )

Saturday I’m giving two “talks” or classes, as the camp is calling them. One is titled DREAM BIG the other, WRITING A BOOK, two concepts I know a great deal about.

Anyone who knows me knows I love to talk. I’ll talk to practically anyone, anywhere any time. My grandmother used to say I’d talk to a rock if it would listen. She’s wasn’t wrong.

But speaking to another person one-on-one or in a small group of your friends is totally different from getting up in front of a bunch of strangers and commanding a topic.

I tend to babble when I’m nervous. I tend to go off on tangents if something strikes me as funny. I tend to avoid eye contact because I’m so nervous. None of these little idiosyncrasies warms a listener’s heart when they have paid cash-money to hear you speak about a topic you are supposed to be proficient in and an expert on.

There are a million tactics to dealing with this nervous anxiety. Picturing your audience naked is one of the oldest and most quoted pieces of advice. But folks, seriously? I’m a romance writer. I write about naked people all the time! If I started envisioning my audience naked I’d most likely start to think up stories to put couples in the crowd together! Not a good tactic at all.

Someone else offered me the advice of speaking to the crowd as if they were all a bunch of my friends and we were just chatting. Again- do you know me??? I have more “friends” on facebook than I do in real life. I’m never around more than 4 people at a time. EVAH!!!

One thing I did do for these two talks was write out all the bullet points I wanted to speak about and then transferred them to index cards. At least this way I can stick to topic and not go off on one of my numerous side trips and a non-sensical conversations.

Arghghgh, as Charlie Brown so correctly says.

What have I gotten myself into? It’s so hard being a 50-ish, chubby, nervous, introvert in today’s youth obsessed, anorexic, let-everything-hang-out-there world.

I think I’ll go back to writing now to calm myself.

When I’m not having anxiety attacks about public speaking you can find me here:

Tweet Me//Read Me// Visit Me// Picture Me//Pin Me//Friend Me//Google+Me//

4 Comments

Filed under Author, community advocacy, Contemporary Romance, female friends, Kensington Publishers, Life challenges, Literary characters, Lyrical Author, Pet Peeves, Romance, Romance Books, Strong Women, Uncategorized, WIld Rose Press AUthor

Tagged as Anxiety, Author, books, contemporary romance writer, Fear of failure, Life challenges, Love, Personality traits, Public Speaking, Romance, Speaking Anxiety, writing life

May 18, 2016 · 8:49 am

A visit from Joanne Guidoccio

Last year I had the privilege to “meet” author Joanne Guidoccio through our mutual publisher The Wild Rose Press. Since then we have become social media besties – sharing each other’s Tweets, and supporting each other’s blogs and books. Today, Joanne is visiting me and giving us all a lesson is how to relieve and prevent the anxiety each of us as writers experiences. Her lessons and suggestions are not only timely – they work!!! Here’s my buddy, Joanne:

Anxiety Antidotes for Writers

For many writers, worry is a habit. Our minds whirl as we over-analyze and over-think each situation.

Is the manuscript good enough?
Why isn’t the agent or publisher responding to my query? What if my sales numbers are dismal?
What if I get more negative reviews than positive ones?

It’s easy to become overwhelmed and/or blocked as we ruminate about past events or worry about the future. To improve the quality of our lives, we need to find and implement appropriate anxiety antidotes.

Breathe. Whenever you are anxious, deeply and calmly breathe in and out. As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath and feel the sensation of the air as it fills your lungs and leaves through your nostrils.
Journal. Set aside ten minutes each day to write about your feelings, relationships, triggers, and goals. Write quickly and do not linger over each page. As time progresses, you will notice changes in your writing style and content. Solutions may emerge and help improve your present situation.
Take regular breaks away from social media and your devices. Use those pockets of time to meditate, stretch, soak in a bubble bath, complete a crossword puzzle, flip through a travel brochure, or read the first chapter in a book that has been sitting on your nightstand.
Take a brisk walk in the evening with a friend or spouse. The exercise will increase blood flow to your heart and brain. You will also have an opportunity to talk about your day and share your frustrations.
Surround yourself with inspiration. Follow the advice that Blake Mycoskie gave in his book, Start Something That Matters (2012). In the early days of the TOMS start-up, the young entrepreneur experienced many scary moments. His line of credit was often fully drawn, and his credit cards were maxed out. Lacking a board of directors who could advise and motivate him, Mycoskie surrounded himself with inspirational quotations and read the biographies of successful people.
Display your trophies. It is easy to overlook your accomplishments when you allow them to be overshadowed by negative thoughts. Instead, surround yourself with evidence of past successes by keeping awards, publishers’ checks, and congratulatory notes on display in your home. If space is at a premium, take pictures of the memorabilia and organize them in a scrapbook.

Listen to music. According to studies cited in Trends in Cognitive Science, you can improve your mood, relieve anxiety and depression, and activate the parts of the brain involved in movement, memory, planning, and attention.
Take up a sport or hobby that forces you to pay attention. When you play tennis, you must be aware of everything that is happening. You do not have time to worry about the shot you missed because another one is coming right back at you. Similarly, you must concentrate when you play bridge or poker. If your attention strays, you risk losing the game.
Play an instrument. Researchers at Boston Children’s Hospital claim that regular instrument playing boosts the brain’s executive function, which includes problem-solving skills and the ability to focus.
Clean out your purse or wallet at the end of each day. You may be surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, but this small task can help you psychologically declutter and feel more in control of your day.

Do you have an anxiety antidote to share?

A SEASON FOR KILLING BLONDES

Hours before the opening of her career counseling practice, Gilda Greco discovers the dead body of golden girl Carrie Ann Godfrey, neatly arranged in the dumpster outside her office. Gilda’s life and budding career are stalled as Detective Carlo Fantin, her former high school crush, conducts the investigation.

When three more dead blondes turn up all brutally strangled and deposited near Gilda’s favorite haunts, she is pegged as a prime suspect for the murders. Frustrated by Carlo’s chilly detective persona and the mean girl antics of Carrie Ann’s meddling relatives, Gilda decides to launch her own investigation. She discovers a gaggle of suspects, among them a yoga instructor in need of anger management training, a lecherous photographer, and fourteen ex-boyfriends. As the puzzle pieces fall into place, shocking revelations emerge, forcing Gilda to confront the envy and deceit she has long overlooked.

Trailer

Buy Links Amazon The Wild Rose Press B&N

A Season for Killing Blondes is on sale for $0.99 May 6 – May 20

Bio

In 2008, Joanne took advantage of early retirement and decided to launch a second career that would tap into her creative side and utilize her well-honed organizational skills. Slowly, a writing practice emerged. Her articles and book reviews were published in newspapers, magazines, and online. When she tried her hand at fiction, she made reinvention a recurring theme in her novels and short stories. A member of Crime Writers of Canada, Sisters in Crime, and Romance Writers of America, Joanne writes paranormal romance, cozy mysteries, and inspirational literature from her home base of Guelph, Ontario.

Where to find Joanne…

Website: // Twitter: //Facebook: //LinkedIn: // Pinterest: // Goodreads: